"Lose You to Love Me" Out Now

Selena Gomez is back and better than ever. In recent years, the singer has been featured on a few popular tracks here and there like “I Can’t Get Enough” with Benny Blanco, “Back To You” for Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why, and ”Wolves” with Marshmello. However, this week she released a new single “Lose You To Love Me” that is quickly gaining traction. 


Amongst her recent features and other single “Look At Her Now” that all have big EDM vibes, “Lose You To Love Me” definitely stands out. The song is a much slower ballad with a powerful message. It has been talked about all over social media for the speculation that it is about her relationship and breakup with (now married) Justin Bieber. However, the real attention should be focused on the song’s meaning as a whole, not the private specifics. 

(courtesy of Selena Gomez’s instagram)


LYTLM is so painfully honest and open with the audience. Starting the song off with “You promised the world, and I fell for it / I put you first and you adored it” and the repeating lines “You set fires to my forest / you let it burn” immediately plunge us into her raw, personal depiction of the story. At no point in the song does Selena hide behind her words, nor in the video. Her VEVO video shows continuous close up black and white shots of her singing facing the camera. To me, this truly adds to the song. Gomez is sharing her side and facing it head on metaphorically and literally. 


Gomez sings about how she had put this person’s wants and needs above her own over and over again until there was nothing left to give. She alludes to her mental health issues after the breakup with lines like “Made me think I deserved it / In the thick of healing.” The way this song so beautifully conveys her pain and struggle but also shows the light at the end of the tunnel is brilliant, and it provides hope to any of her fans listening and going through the same thing. 


My favorite line has to be “I needed to hate you to love me.” The sentiment is so simple but so strongly bittersweet. Gomez’s song doesn’t focus on the hate over what happened like most breakup songs tend to do, but instead chooses to highlight the bright side: her growing self-love. I applaud Gomez for being so open and honest about her experience because toxic relationships are something that must be made more aware of today. 

(courtesy of Selena Gomez’s instagram)


Whether it’s a toxic friend or partner, it can become so easy for people to think they are alone and have no other choice but to stay with that person. But that isn’t true. It is so helpful for her to acknowledge that there can be pain after leaving a bad relationship, no matter how bad it was, because you were still emotionally attached into something you put your all into. No one, like Gomez, should have to feel guilty when losing someone to love themselves. Put yourself first as much as possible, and always be there for others if they need help leaving an unhealthy relationship.