A lot of the times when people think about long-distance relationships, they get worried about a lack of communication between them and their significant other. I had a similar issue right before going to college which made me worry about whether my relationship would actually work out during college. One of my biggest fears apart from lack of communication was growing apart from my partner. I thought college and meeting new people would change me and eventually lead us to break up. Here are some things I think ended up helping me when it came to keeping my relationship strong.
1. Understanding the other person has priorities: At times I wanted all his attention on me and I would get upset and think I wasn’t one of his priorities. But in reality, he is an adult and has other things to do such as school, work, go to the gym and spend time with his friends and family. Sometimes I may see those things as an excuse, but in reality, I know that I do not always talk to him or give him my full attention because I’m busy as well.
2.Communicate what you want: Most of the time people say “communication is key” and in reality it is. For me, a lot of the times I prefer to just be straightforward and ask “what do you want” because I feel like I can truly understand what he wants me to improve on or do rather than making assumptions or putting two and two together.
3.Call them occasionally: I think this is actually really important to me because with text messages you do not really know how the other person is feeling. You can make assumptions about the person’s tone, but it’s not always obvious. With phone calls or facetime calls, I also feel that the one on one communication is there. You can actually hear the person’s voice or see their face and interact with them in a much more personal way.
4. Reassurance: This may seem unnecessary, but it is actually very important. Just telling your significant other that you love them or how much they mean to you is important. Sometimes I’ll be having a bad day and just hearing my significant other tell me “I love you” will make me happy or make my day.
5. Trust: I think this is very important overall in a relationship, not only when it comes to being long-distance relationships. My partner and I believe that if there isn’t any trust in a relationship than in reality there isn’t a relationship. But when it comes to long-distance I think you need to fully trust your partner and their actions. You should not be doubting your partner unless they give you a legitimate reason to.
6. No lies: if you end up lying to your significant other, you don’t really know them. You end up creating a relationship with someone you don’t really know. Additionally, by lying in a relationship you end up undermining the trust that you and your partner have; and, it can end up creating a much more fragile relationship so when someone bad comes along it would be easier for the relationship to end.
7. Commitment/loyalty: These two are usually seen together because you have to be able to only focus on one person and be loyal. When in long-distance relationships, you begin to meet new people and attention can be taken away from your partner, but being able to draw a line to what time of attention is given to others in need. Otherwise, you wouldn’t necessarily be committed or loyal to your significant other.
These may seem like simple little things that everyone should do in a relationship, but when it comes to a long-distance relationship I believe they are more important. Being able to see your significant other is a little harder, that these simple things help keep the relationship strong.
Even though I initially had doubts about doing a long-distance relationship, I feel like we have a better bond and connection than we had previously had. We tend not to fight/argue as often because we are both clear on what we want from one another. We do not necessarily talk with each other 24/7, but we know what is going on in the other’s life. We also try to say “I love you” or show it so that the other does not feel unloved. Not everyone will feel the same way about a long-distance relationship, but for my partner and me, I feel like it was very beneficial to create a stronger relationship.