How to Be Okay With Being Phone Friends

One of the most important aspects of life is friendship. Your friends are the ones who pick you up when you’re down, give you advice when you’re stuck, and keep you sane when you feel like you’re losing it. In college, this becomes even more important. You are trying to find your way in the world all on your own for the first time and having friends to count on always helps. One thing I’ve had to learn though is that friendships change, but not always for the worst.


Transitioning from high school friends to college can be hard, but it doesn’t mean you have to choose one over the other. You will become closer to college friends and sometimes ignore your high school friends, but if your friendships are strong enough they won’t disappear, they will just… change. More often than not, these friendships will become phone friendships.


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When you and your friends are no longer a 5 minute drive away and no longer have classes together everyday, the only way you can stay connected is through the phone. You can text, call, facetime, tag each other on Instagram posts and DM each other funny tweets. It won’t be the same as being together in person, but that’s okay. Phone friendships are just as valid as IRL friendships, they are just a different kind.


Most friendships end when they expect different things from each other. People see their friends post on social media but not answer their texts and assume the friendship is over. They think that if they don’t talk every day like they used to then they’ve lost their connection. It’s easier to become angry and distant with the friends you don’t have to see everyday, but that doesn’t mean you should.


What most people don’t realize is that with different kinds of friendships there are different kinds of expectations. If you notice you and your high school friends are slipping into phone friends territory, then accept it happily. After all, it’s a much better friendship than a nonexistent one. Once you accept it you must also change what you expect from them. You can’t depend on them to help you out and be there for you 24/7 anymore. If you do, you will only be disappointed because, believe it or not, everyone has their own things going on that they have to take care of first, especially in college. If you expect less, you will get more. Not depending on constant contact will make catching up with them eventually even more special.


(Photo by from Pexels)

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t count on them sometimes or try your best to always be there for them, it just means you shouldn’t do this always. Keep in touch when you can but don’t stress if you haven’t talked all week. Know that the friendship is still there and strong as ever. And you never know, it may even go back to being an IRL friendship later on when you meet up over breaks or move near each other again. Your friendships can always change and grow but only if you let them.