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Since my boyfriend and I have been dating for over three years now, whenever my friends need advice they come to me. Sometimes it can be about simple issues like he didn’t like my shirt while others can be more complicated because someone lied. Here are some of the ways I think my boyfriend and I have managed to have a healthy relationship:

Communicate Things

I know this sounds silly and everyone probably says it, but I know from experience. Right before I started college my boyfriend and I stopped communicating as effectively with each other and it almost resulted in us breaking up. Once college started, our communication skills became much better and our relationship grew stronger.

Write it Out

Sometimes the issue that we’re having can easily be solved if it’s written out and fully understood. I know sometimes when I write out what I’m mad about, I might end up writing a solution without thinking of it. A lot of the time, too, I tend to overreact about things. When I write them out I realize that in reality, I should not be mad. This helps because it lessens my stubbornness and allows me to actually comprehend when I am right/wrong. 



This is one of my favorite things to do when figuring out why I am upset with my boyfriend. It allows me to not only clear my mind, but also be able to think of everything clearly. Here, I can fully comprehend what the issue is and what is going on without being a hothead. I also put myself in his shoes and see how he feels about everything.

Cry It Out

This could either help you or make you feel worse. Most of the time it helps me to not get as emotional about an issue as I usually would. I tend to cry when I’m mad, so I try crying prior so that most of them are dried out. (I do not recommend this method as much as everything else just because it tends to make my face puffy and red.)

This is some of my advice on how to be in a healthy relationship. They have really benefited me in one way or another in the past few years, and I know that they will continue to be effective throughout the years. 


Ashleen Herrarte

UC Riverside '23

Ashleen is a third-year Political Science and Philosophy major. When she is not writing articles for HCUCR, she is usually spending time with friends by going out to eat yummy foods or watching shows at home. She hopes you enjoy reading her articles!
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