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They say everyone usually finds their significant other or the love of their life during college and the rest of their life is set. The media portrays many love stories where the main characters meet the love of their lives at college and live happily ever after. No one really talks about the ones who do not date in college. I’ll be real with you, I have been single throughout college while all of my close friends around me and many others that I know are in relationships, and that is absolutely fantastic. However, I feel there is an unspoken judgement passed about those who do not date at all or are not in relationships. 


roommates home together
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

I have asked my peers, colleagues, and friends  who have been single through college so far and there is the general consensus that.  One of my peers told me that “people sometimes correlate the fact that you are single with the fact that you might be undesired.” Now, people may not say this outright, but sometimes it can be felt that way. For instance, I have a friend who, almost every time she calls me, the first question she asks is if I am crushing on anyone or if I have a boyfriend. Although I know she means really well, it does get tiring because I feel like I am judged if I say no. I have observed many times throughout college and in the media boys who get high-fived for all the girls they “get with”.=To be honest, I have never felt the need to have a boyfriend or get one in college. College, to me, was about making new friends, enjoying every opportunity I can, and trying to focus on being the best version of myself. I wanted to truly find out who I am as a person, if I liked that person, become proud of who I am and gain that confidence. Now if you ask any of my closest friends, I am a hopeless romantic who knows all the rom coms that exist out there but I never truly found someone who I thought I could commit to being in a full time relationship with and that should be absolutely fine. There are so many powerful and inspiring women out there doing great things who are single and killing it.


Woman visiting the Colosseum in Rome, Italy
Photo by Courtney Cook from Unsplash

Everyone makes it seem like we are missing out an integral part of life, but there are so many powerful and inspiring women out there doing great things while being single.

To be honest I thought that I was going to find a boyfriend as soon as I got  to college.

Another comment I always hear is that if you are too picky or your standards too high then you will not find anybody; my question is why not be that way? Why shouldn’t you set the bar high? You should know your own self worth and be with someone who is worthy of you. It is ridiculous in an age of powerful inspiring women, that this is still there to fall in love. Standards don’t necessarily have to be about looks; they should be about your values, morals, personality, the vibe, and connection with the other person. 


man and woman kissing on stairs
Photo by Eduardo Pastor from Unsplash

One peer said: “I feel the world makes it seem like I am missing out on an integral part of life and it gives me FOMO, especially when you are surrounded by couples on social media during the holiday seasons or when you feel others talk about their significant other, you might feel like you have nothing to contribute and that can make you feel left out and that you might be distant from your friends.” 

So, to whoever is feeling low or embarrassed about not having a significant other in college when their peers or friends might is that you are not alone! It is absolutely fine to be single in college because this is the time to live your life the way you want to. If you do find your significant other, that’s great. If you have not yet, just keep going with the flow and live in the moment.

Rithika Nair

UC Riverside '21

Hi, I am a 21 year old college student attending UCR who loves movies, books and adventures! :P
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