Here at HCUCR, we want to help you create the best college experience you can possibly have! Sometimes though, we all need a little advice, but from a MALE’S perspective. Ask Aiden your question(s) here.
“So me and my boyfriend have been together for six months and we’re pretty much inseperable. We have the same beliefs, morals, etc. The thing is, we’re currently in a long distance relationship right now, but it’s still going well so far! Everyone has some doubt about us, because they just condone anything that’s long distant. What do you think?”
-Just Interested
If it’s going well so far, then there shouldn’t be TOO much you need to change or worry about. One of the most important things to keep in the back of your mind is to make sure things don’t become stagnant; in other words, keep things exciting/spontaneous/adventurous/whatever else that has been working for you two! In doing so, the “fire” will be kept alive, and, who knows, maybe more sparks will fly! Also, some people condone long distance relationships for a lot of reasons: insecurity, jealousy, bad experiences, etc. BUT, that doesn’t mean yours can’t be one of those unique, special long distance relationships that work out! One of the coolest things that I’ve seen a lot of successful long distance couples do is to surprise their significant other by spontaneously visiting them out of nowhere or even something smaller like sending him a small gift/care package just to show him that you’re thinking of him and missing him. Be creative and think of ways to keep each other in the loop! Whether it be skyping, phone calls, texts, love letters, or sending gifts.
-Sad and Confused
Since communication seems like the problem for your relationship, I think you should communicate to him that you don’t plan on being left in the dust like how you have been treated. Tell him that you expect things to change and for communication to improve. Also, be firm in your position so that he knows you’re really serious about this because I know you mentioned this in the past and it seems like he didn’t take it into much consideration. Without communication, a relationship loses its foundation and things will definitely start to crumble because you two won’t be on the same page. So first, communicate to him your thoughts/feelings, and see how he responds from there. If he says he will change (I understand you said you tried this in the past) and you see improvement, then that’s great! But, if things still seem like the same, stagnant and all, then maybe it isn’t to the best of your interest to put yourself through this kind of treatment and part ways. The key thing here is, what do YOU want? If you feel like things can still be fixed, then give it a shot..! Because you don’t want to think back in hindsight, “what if this…. what if that…” etc etc. Also, maybe when he hears how serious you are about this situation, then he might “wake up” and realize that he needs to change or he’s going to lose you. But the part about not texting you after your grandfather died is not acceptable, no matter the situation for him. You may have to weigh the pros and cons of your relationship and reevaluate things between you two. Sometimes it takes breaking up with someone to make him acknowledge the mistakes he made, and maybe there will be another chance in the future, just not now. Anyway, hope it helped! I wish you the best!