One of the first questions I usually get asked is “Where are you from?”.
Contrary to what many others feel about this question, I don’t really mind it. It’s true that it can be hard to tell a mixed person’s ethnicity, and I think it’s fine to be curious–it’s better than those who assume your background.
I have a mixed ethnic background –my mother is Japanese and my dad is British. In Japan, where I grew up, we are commonly called ‘hafu’, or half. For the majority of the Japanese population, hafu are confusing entities–we are usually the closest form of foreignness they encounter within their very homogenous society. As of 2022, almost 98% of the population is ethnically Japanese. Although this includes people of mixed race, as well as Japanese ethnic minorities such as the Ainu or Ryukyu people, the bottom line is that looking anything other than Japanese means you stand out. The type of attention you receive can depend on what sort of ethnicity you look; those of mixed Asian or African ethnicities have a higher likelihood of receiving unwanted attention, while those of mixed white ethnicities are branded as ‘cool’ due to their increasing representation on mainstream media. However, those who don’t meet these aesthetic standards, are not bilingual, or are a non-white hafu are often called “zannen na hafu” – disappointing hafu.
In my experience being mixed in Japan, I have been faced with a combination of intimidation and awe. My features automatically brand me as a foreigner, usually leading to discomfort on their side. After I speak Japanese, many look fascinated and ask me “Are you a hafu?” usually closely followed by “Can you speak English? Your Japanese is so good!”, or even “Is that your natural hair colour?”.
In reality, of course, not much really sets hafus apart from the rest of the Japanese population. Many have grown up in Japan, speak fluent Japanese, own a Japanese passport, and are by all means very much a local. Although the fascination directed at hafus is often meant as flattery and interest, it also makes the clear distinction between ‘us’ and ‘them’.
I grew up praised for my “mixed-ness”, all the while having this unsettling feeling of being set apart. For my multi-ethnic friends, and I’m sure for others with a mixed background, it is a common experience to somehow not quite feel at home in the place we grew up in. The task of building a social and cultural identity can be a complicated journey; many don’t know which side of themselves to identify with, not knowing if they are ‘enough’ of one race to truly claim it. “Racial Imposter Syndrome”, a term recently coined by the podcast Code Switch, captures this internal conflict. The phrase describes the emotions of doubt and insecurity that arise when a person’s sense of ethnic identity doesn’t align with how others perceive them, as well as the struggle of trying to fit in while not feeling accepted by any ethnic group.
I believe this is a familiar feeling for other multiracial people out there. Although I had always been quite comfortable with my mixed heritage, coming to the UK for university I tended to identify more with my Japanese side. This perception of myself was severely bruised at my first Japanese society social when I was asked why I joined the society–did I like anime? I thought they would understand–I’m Japanese. Although this is what I faced growing up in Japan, I suddenly felt like an intruder; did I really seem like a complete foreigner? I felt like I’d tricked myself into believing I fit in there with the other Japanese.
This sense of exclusion seems to come from the multitude of stereotypes that are used to identify specific ethnicities. Do I look white/black/Asian enough? Am I fluent enough? Do I conform enough to earn my ethnicity? Every multiracial person has a deeply unique and personal relationship to their ethnicities and these questions that many have internalised should not dictate their identity. This is why I welcome the question “Where are you from?”. In this world of stereotypes and unwelcome assumptions, it gives me the opportunity to tell my own story.
For those who would like to listen to the podcast on “racial imposter syndrome, ” here is the link: https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2017/06/08/462395722/racial-impostor-syndrome-here-are-your-stories
Sources:
https://web.uri.edu/iaics/files/Kimie-OSHIMA.pdf
https://edition.cnn.com/2020/09/22/asia/japan-mixed-roots-hafu-dst-hnk-intl/index.html