So I began this epic journey of finding out what the perks of being single are on Valentine’s Day. I was going through a mental downer cause I am single in February again. So I thought I would interview a bunch of my friends about what the perks of being single are. I figured they would have that answers. So I asked a bunch of my friends this question and I got.
-“You can dance to Single Ladies and really mean it!”
-“You can go see Chippendales (aka Male Strippers).”
-“You can flirt with whoever you want!”
-“You can hook up with anyone.”
From some of my guy friends I got—
-“You don’t have to spend money on whatever.”
-“You don’t have any expectations. I’ll just do what ever I want and no one will care.”
-“You constantly don’t have to worry about another person.”
-“You can go to any place, hit on a random girl and see if she is interested or not.”
-“It’s a good day cause a lot of people get laid. So they are happy afterwards.”
As you can see, I didn’t get the most ideal answers. But later that night, my roommate described love as external validation. I then realized why I couldn’t be alone. When I’m alone I feel weird and awful. It used to suck because I didn’t know what to do with myself. I always have my friends to be there to comfort me but when you’re alone you don’t know what do. For me, I’m just there by myself, cricket chirping included. I guess my phobia for being single on Valentine’s Day stems from the fact that I can’t be alone. I need some one to always be there as my company. I have to have my friends or some guy to be there. I am trying really hard to get over this fear of being by myself. But now I realize what it is—I need to be more kind to myself. Don’t get me wrong here, I really do value myself and am proud of myself for morphing into a person I like. However, there are times where I do beat myself up. For example, I may think I’m not smart enough, perfect enough, or pretty enough. But now I’m realizing this Valentine’s Day is not about my insecurity of being single. It’s not about the roses, stuffed animals, or the chocolate. Valentine’s day is about me learning to love myself more than I already do. I need to love myself to the point that I don’t need any external validation. I don’t need a boy to realize that I am awesome. I don’t need my peers to tell me I look nice. I don’t need to take care of people to make my self realize that I do have beauty. All these things are nice, but what I need to do is not define my self worth by the people around me. Even though I have some of the finest diamonds when it comes to friendship, I need to realize that I am amazing because inside, I am. It’s not just because of the things I do, but because my actions are a reflection of me.
Like anyone other girl, I look in the mirror and try to fix something wrong with my hair. I look in the mirror to check if my eyeliner is ok. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, look at my groggy self, with my dark curls moving in all directions, and ask myself “Does it get better than this?’
I am constantly comparing myself to girls in magazines and saying things like “I want look like her.” But now I’m going to stop myself from doing this. So what if I don’t look like the chick on that magazine cover? So what if I wake up and find some bad photos of myself on Facebook? I will never be perfect because perfect is not real. But I am. I will always be me. I’m pretty awesome for being me and I don’t need anyone to tell me that.
So for all you single ladies on Valentine’s Day, know that it is not about having a significant other. It’s not about acknowledging all your loved ones, even though that is important. It is realizing that you are beautiful because you are. I mean it to all you girls reading this article. You need to realize that and love yourself.
I know it sounds selfish to think of Valentine’s Day as loving yourself and not other people around. But realize that the only way you can love others and to get proper love from others is to love yourself.
On Valentine’s Day don’t feel sad for not being in love with someone because a good chunk of what you need is to be in love with yourself. Instead of being mad for being single, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Wear that red-hot dress, not to search for that special someone, but for yourself. Get that mani/ pedi and drink that cup of hot chocolate. This year, my Valentine’s Day is going to be about loving myself and I hope all of you realize this as well.
Photo credit: http://5election.com/2011/11/0…