As I go into my second half of the spring 2022 quarter at UC Irvine, I am in disbelief that my time as an undergrad student is coming to an end. It went by in the blink of an eye.
When I was in high school, I could not wait to start my journey in college. It was something that I had looked forward to for several years. However, I am now starting to encounter some senioritis struggles and growing pains, wishing I was in Pre-K all over again.
As a freshman, I remember that my transition from high school to college was quite difficult because I did not have any friends at UCI and was not familiar with my new environment for the next four years. I didn’t have any guidance, so I felt on my own. I struggled with the workload and signed up for 8 A.M. classes without knowing what I was getting myself into.
My sophomore year was a little better because, after a year, I got the gist of things and had made friends, but as a student commuting, I still felt left out. I found that you make more friends and acquaintances by dorming, which I didn’t do throughout my college experience. That is definitely something I wish I could redo because now I’ll always have that regret.
I spent my first two years getting adjusted to college, and by my junior year, I knew that I had to start focusing on my life after college. I ran into several of my peers that already had a lot of experience under their sleeves and realized that I was behind, or at least I thought I was.
There is this unspoken pressure that college students face, where they need to have everything together. Even if you have no idea what you want to do next, you should somehow work towards your next step. Whether through internships, leadership roles, part-time jobs, clubs, organizations, social and professional events, extracurriculars, networking…the list is endless.
When my junior year came around, I was not involved or doing anything from the stuff I mentioned above. I felt that I had to step up my game, so I did an internship in telemarketing during the summer, which I absolutely hated but used as a self-learning experience. In school, I started getting involved in extracurricular activities.
Now, as a senior, I have expanded my network but still lack the experience that companies look for. I am in a continuous struggle between not being able to land an internship to gain experience and not landing an internship because of my lack of experience. It’s a very contradicting and confusing situation.
Since the beginning of my senior year, I have been applying to jobs and internships and have not heard back from any of them. As I get closer to my graduation date, I worry even more about having something lined up for me. My fear of being unemployed is a constant pressure that I unwillingly let get to me.
While networking, I’ve come across several UCI alumni that advised me to not worry about the situation because I am young and have a lot ahead of me. There is still a lot for me to learn and experience. If I don’t land the position I applied for, it wasn’t meant to be. Something will eventually come up that will make me happy and regret ever being so stressed about my post-grad life.
Even with all the positive affirmations, I can’t help but wonder, what does the future hold for me?