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I am about to turn 20 and I must admit, I feel like a 12-year-old: not only on the inside but also on the outside. I am constantly told by every single person I meet, who is over 40, that I look like a 14-year-old. On the other hand, I get told that I act too mature for my age and that I should be out having fun and living the college experience.

I agree.

I feel like such an old soul sometimes that I question why I can’t be like other college students. After reflecting on it, I see three reasons why: 1) that I am a college student with no money, 2) I am too sleep deprived to think about going out and having fun and 3) I am too calm of a person to care about the pagan things college has to offer. I guess I am just too much of a hermit. In the words of Belle, “I want much more than this provincial life.” I want to focus on working hard right now and enjoy later when the fruits of my labor have finally blossomed.

To further show that I am not ready to be 20 years old, I have made a list of random “what if” questions I have had throughout life and have yet to find the answers to. Warning: they do not even make sense.

  1. What if there was no gravity? *Jumps everywhere
  2. What if coffee was never discovered? *Drops out of college
  3. What if life was fair? How boring!
  4. What if we could time travel?
  5. What if our toes were our fingers and our fingers our toes? Ew
  6. What if I shaved off my eyebrows? I actually do not want the answer to this.
  7. What if I never find love? Well… I have come this far *shrugs
  8. What if I become invisible?
  9. What if I become invincible? How nice, *sighs
  10. What if Peter Pan came right now and took me to Neverland? Please do.
  11. What if our dreams are reality and our reality our dreams, we just have them mixed up?
  12. What if Eve never ate the forbidden fruit?
  13. What if we could never lie? *Chaos everywhere
  14. What if I get nowhere in life?
  15. What if everything is meaningless?
  16. What if I was born in a completely different country?
  17. What if everything I speak was broadcasted nationwide? Oh dear…
  18. What if I could only speak a foreign language all of a sudden, one I don’t understand?
  19. What if I never find the answers to these questions?
  20. What if I never stop having questions?
Emily Flores

UC Irvine '21

Emily is a third-year student at the University of California, Irvine. She is an English and Spanish Literature double major. She is currently learning Korean and would like to one day teach English in South Korea. In her free time, Emily loves reading, writing, and drawing. "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind." -William Shakespeare
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