Hello again from your resident single writer. I have already written about being single for the holidays, but now, the holidays are (thankfully) over.
The dreaded holidays of romance are gone but, I can still hear my mother’s frantic thoughts of “When will my baby find love?” (gross, I know). I don’t even want to know what the other matriarchs of my family are thinking.
I never understood why being single was seen as something with pity. It is something that should never be seen nor heard of. Taking the cue from my favorite rom-com Isn’t it Romantic? (2019), I don’t want to be complete because of a man in my life. I want to be whole because of me.
Now, I could spend this article being oh woe is me, but I would much rather make this more humorous. Instead I want to talk about love without being in love.
Sounds weird, I know but bare with me.
I openly tell people that I love them. To my friends who I could not live without or to a coworker who made my day, they are all getting my love. Have I gotten a few weird looks about telling people that I love them? Yes. Do I care? No.
I have never been the type to live half way. I do (or at least try to do) everything with every ounce of my soul. I’m going to be the one who laughs ‘till she can’t breathe while also being the one who will cry until she runs out of tears. Basically, any Disney movie will destroy me emotionally and physically.
So, when I love, I love hard.
From family members dying to losing friendships, people around me leave. I know not everyone will (or does) but I still have that fear. Where other fear heights or dentists, I fear being alone. So, I tell people that I love them; not as a way to control them, but so that they know for the time that they are in my life, they are loved.
I was nine years old when my uncle died, twelve when my dad died, and nineteen when everyone thought I would die (Death: 2, Me: 1). While the saying “everything happens for a reason” drives me insane, all of that did teach me one thing. It taught me to live to the fullest every day, who knows when I might have another with someone or another day at all.
For those of you who do not know me, my body is more like a twenty-two year old car rather than a twenty-two year old woman. My poor friends and family have had to see me in four surgeries, a biopsy and through many, many undiagnosed ailments with even more CTs and MRIs. Every once in a while, I debate going through medical school, just so I could figure out my medical mysteries.
The way I view it, anytime you feel love towards someone, you should tell them. You don’t know if that person will ever be given an “I love you” so why not let it be from a person that matters.
Anytime that someone sees through the walls that I have built (or sometimes knocks them down depending on the person), I become more like my sarcastic self. The person who laughs as hard as they cry and loves as hard as they want to be loved.
I know that my personality is larger than life and hard to take in at once. When someone sees through my actions, being able to read me like a picture book, I become stunned. I like being able to read other people, I do not like when others can read me. It is much easier to be the one that cares rather than the one cared for.
My lock screen is a photo of me smiling like a fool. I love it so much and every time I open my screen, I am forced to see myself happy. Although I know that I have beauty within, that photo tells me that my beauty is just as strong outside.
I work on self love and love towards others because I do not want to live my life in hate, especially towards myself. Similarly, I refuse to not make light of terrible situations. I am going to tell people that I love them because who knows how badly that they need to be told that.
As the amazing Robin Williams said “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that.”
It may not be your love language to tell people that you love them, but it may be theirs. Tell your friend that you love them. Tell your coworker that you love spending time with them. Tell the world of your love because who knows if you’ll get another chance.