As someone who graduated from high school in 2020 and completed my entire freshman year from the comfort of my bed, I remember the sheer panic I felt when I was suddenly bogged down with the thought of having to actually put on something other than pajamas to go to class. I know everyone is probably tired of hearing about the pandemic and wants to just move on from it, which is totally understandable. However, for me, it has been such a huge part of my experience not only as a college student but also as a person overall. Despite the numerous challenges that the pandemic brought about, it is important for me to acknowledge that I was very privileged to be able to stay at home and spend time with my family and not have to worry about anything else. As someone who struggles with anxiety that comes with social interactions, being able to go to school without ever having to get out of my room, did come in handy. Adjusting to that lifestyle was hard, but once I got the hang of it, I really enjoyed it. So, when freshman year ended and September came around, I was terrified. I remember many of my peers being extremely happy to be able to get a “real college experience”, but I was in my room sulking about the fact that I would have to move out from a space that gave me so much comfort for two years, and move onto this strange new place.
If I am being honest, I dreaded a lot of it. As someone who hates changes, this was extremely overwhelming. I remember the morning after I moved in, I decided to put up a brave front and head to the library so I could escape from what felt like my sad reality at the time. Well, to cut a long story short, I got lost and ended up going back to my dorm and crying because I just felt as though I was not meant for this place. Well, it’s nine months later, and although, I still cry every week in my dorm, going to the library is not such a scary experience anymore. In fact, I actually enjoy going on walks around campus, even if it means I will get lost.
When I first moved to UCI, I constantly counted the days until I could go back home, because I knew somewhere deep in my heart that, this is not home. It was just a place that I had to get used to, where I came to study, and that’s about it. Now, writing this from my dorm, I do not know if that is true anymore. As move-out day nears, there’s a part of me that is just not ready to let go. I recognize this feeling. It feels pretty similar to what I felt, nine months back.
It has not been the easiest time, with lots of ups and downs and a lot of adjusting, but I would not be who I am today without these experiences. With that being said, I wanted to jot down a few of the life lessons I have garnered over the last year as I move on to the next chapter of my life.
1) It’s completely okay to eat by yourself
Okay, this might sound silly to some people. But, if I am being honest, this was the hardest thing for me to learn. College can be a very isolating experience, at times. Don’t get me wrong, you will definitely meet people and some may even become some of your closest friends. But, with college comes a whole lot of new experiences that you might have to experience yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think growing up, you see this curated version of the “college experience” and assume that everything is going to be exactly that way. I sure did. So, when I came here and nothing was like that, it took me a while to get adjusted to that. However, just because it is not this movie-like scene all the time, does not mean it is not real and authentic. Sitting at a park enjoying a meal by yourself is as much “the college experience” as it is going out with your friends and attending a party. Neither is the correct way of experiencing college. So, coming back to my point, go ahead and eat that lunch by yourself! Being alone does not mean being lonely.
2) Utilise Campus Resources
If I could give myself or other newcomers one piece of advice, it would hands down be this. As intimidating as it is, please make use of all the resources available to you on campus, and UCI has many. As a first-generation college student, when I tell you I did not know anything about college, I mean it. From selecting courses to trying to find a place to study, the first week of school was overwhelming, to say the least. I know how isolating that can feel, but do not ever hesitate to ask for help. Walk into different rooms and ask the front desk, what resources they offer. Just being knowledgeable about these things, can help you in the long run! For example, the SOAR center is the only place that provided free printing and if I knew about this earlier, I would have saved a whole lot of time and money. And it’s okay to not know everything at once as time goes by, you will learn more and more about various resources and opportunities available to you. My point is, do not shy away from it!
3) Time flies but it also crawls
That sounded way smarter in my head but oh well! I am sure you have heard everyone say how fast the quarter system is and to be honest, it really is. Finals creep up on you so fast and having to figure out classes three times a year is no joke. But, as fast as it all happens, the weeks are long, and burnout is very real. Especially, during the beginning and end! In the beginning, personally, for me, I was counting each hour that was passing because I just did not know what to do. The newness of school and being in a completely different environment really made it hard for me to adjust. And then, this last quarter, waiting for the long-awaited summer break has made it feel like it’s never gonna happen. But then, as I write this, I am also having an ironic realization that there are literally two weeks left. Well, as I said, time flies but it also crawls, just try to take it day by day!
It felt really strange saying goodbye to my sophomore year. Before I know it, I will be graduating and crying about how I do not want to leave this place. I am forever grateful for all the memories I made this year and for all the experiences- the good and bad and I hope next year brings me a lot more opportunities for me to grow into whoever I am supposed to be.