This past weekend, I visited Disneyland and California Adventure for the first time in over 10 years. My little brother was in town, and we decided to drop the big bucks on a Disney trip. In hindsight, it was probably not the best weekend to go to the Happiest Place on Earth; it was raining, overcrowded and full of crying children throwing temper tantrums. I mean, waiting in ridiculously long lines for five-minute-long rides, paying for greasy, overpriced food and standing for 12+ hours…what’s not to love?
I kid, I kid. My brother and I had a great time. Besides, going to Disney was a valuable learning experience. I learned, for example, that it is inappropriate to make gagging noises and disgusted faces in front of the foodstands that sell those gigantic, alien-like turkey legs. I also learned:
DON’T make eye contact with the “I want to speak with the manager” Disney moms.
I’m talking about the Sharons, the Leslies and the Karens. Yeah, don’t look at them even when their children are running around and poking you. They will stare back with extra-evil eyes. *shudders*
DO hold your pee in.
You wait two hours and finally get to the front of the line. Guess what, chances are you’re going to have to pee. But you’ve made it this far, so do your best to hold it in. Space Mountain on a full bladder is nothing. Just don’t sneeze or scream, unless you want to test your bladder-bilities.
DON’T be indecisive.
Fastpasses for Matterhorn or It’s A Small World? Splash Mountain in the rain? That cute Lilo & Stitch hoodie? Dole Whip or big pickle? By the time you decide, the park will be closed.
DO pack a lot of snacks.
Believe me when I say that you will get hangry waiting in line. It doesn’t help when the people around you are snacking on literally all of your cravings: cotton candy, Takis, margheritas and popcorn. If you pack Ziploc bags of your favorite treats, you’ll be less inclined to spend seven bucks on a skinny churro when the hunger kicks in.
DON’T spend the entire time on your phone.
Instagram and Snapchat can wait. Part of the experience of Disney is the atmosphere, and it’s hard to take advantage of the magic when you’re glued to the screen. Bond with your line buddy! Really get to know one another! From spending more one-on-one time with my little brother, I found out that he isn’t an obnoxious, annoying human. Just imagine what you might learn about your friends if you choose to focus more on them than on your phone.
With these do’s and don’ts, your next trip to Disneyland should be truly magical.