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5 Rom-Coms That Have Ruined My Definition of Love

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UC Irvine chapter.

It’s was February, but love is still in the air. I’m not ashamed to admit that I am a hopeless romantic. I enjoy spending my time fantasizing about the possibilities of love and living vicariously through the leading women in my favorite romantic comedy movies. I’m a sucker for cheesy gestures and love confessions (the hot men are just a bonus). While I watch, I’m screaming, crying and wondering, “When is it my turn to find true love?” Being enamored by these imaginary plots has created an unattainable idea of love in my head. Because of this, I naively thought I would enter college and find true love, yet so far, all I’ve found is stress and deadlines. I desperately wish that I could order some of the leading men in my favorite movies and have them shipped to me within 3 to 5 business days. Sadly, that is not the case. However, here are some of my favorite rom-coms that have altered my perception of love. 

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

This is one of my favorite romantic comedies of all time because it’s not your typical love story. Kat Stratford (played by Julia Stiles) is an iconic, outspoken, edgy feminist who goes after what she wants. Patrick Verona (played by Heath Ledger) is a misunderstood bad boy with a soft side for her. I’ll admit it may sound like a start to a stereotypical fanfiction, but nevertheless, it’s one of my comfort movies. Patrick and Kat’s relationship did start under false pretenses but blossomed into something real. The scene where he serenades her on the bleachers to apologize is timeless. How does someone receive a romantic gesture like this? I’m asking for a friend. Kat went from hating his guts to writing heart-wrenching poetry about him. She even flashed the teacher so he could escape detention. If you ask me, that’s love. 

A Cinderella Story (2004)

I’ll be honest, out of all the Cinderella adaptations, this is one of the best. Sam Montgomery (Hilary Duff) finds out that her internet friend is Austin Ames (Chad Michael Murray), one of the popular boys in school. The vulnerable and genuine connections that they have through email are touching. It makes me want to consider answering the weird guys in my DMs in hopes of finding love. In the end, they share a kiss in the rain that is painfully cliche, yet it gives me warm and fuzzy feelings. Perhaps love is worth catching a cold for.

Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging (2008)

I had to add this for the childhood nostalgia. This movie is incredibly underrated and provides such a realistic representation of teenagers. Also, everyone is British, so that makes it even better. To be completely honest, Georgia Nicolson (played by Georgia Groome) is a literal mess. She’s so awkward and embarrassing that it is comical. With that being said, I relate to her on so many levels. She falls in love with Robbie Jennings (played by Aaron Taylor Johnson ), even though he has a girlfriend at first. After the chaos ensues, Georgia has insane character development and realizes her worth. In the end, she gets her dream boy, and his band plays a song he wrote about her. The One Direction stan in me was living for that moment. This movie really had me thinking I could find myself a dreamy British boyfriend, despite being born and raised in the U.S.

The Proposal (2009)

This movie is a classic and is genuinely funny. The progressive chemistry and vulnerability that Andrew Paxton (played by Ryan Reynolds) and Margaret Tate (played by Sandra Bullock) develop are unmatched. Andrew is an assistant, forced to marry his uptight boss Margaret, so she doesn’t get deported. I love the enemies to lovers trope in this movie. He went from wishing she’d get hit by a cab to actually asking her to marry him. That’s what we call growth. 

Crazy Rich Asians
Color Force

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

Dating a rich, hot man is a fantasy that I’m sure most have, including myself. This is what dreams are made of. Watching Rachel Chu (Constance Wu) and Nick Young’s (Henry Golding) love was so pure and authentic. Nick was a true gentleman and was willing to give up everything just to be with Rachel. It’s evident that Nick was written by a woman. However, Rachel turning down his initial marriage proposal shows that she was willing to sacrifice her happiness for him. I remember watching in awe and manifesting my own Nick Young. The wedding scene from the film was copied and pasted from my wildest dreams. However, I definitely do not want the family drama that Rachel had to deal with. Despite that, this couple was the definition of goals. 

Honestly, sometimes knowing that my romance prospects will not live up to the movies does *somewhat* make me want to move my mattress to the highway. Then, I remember that these happy endings aren’t real life, and Hollywood warps love stories to our liking to paint an image of perfection. We might not fall in love with our childhood best friend like in 13 Going on 30 or have that epic kiss in the rain as seen in The Notebook. That’s okay because we shouldn’t compare our love lives to works of fiction. I love watching rom-coms, but they have their limitations. Finding your definition of happily ever after based on reality is a dream that can certainly come true. In the meantime, we can imagine the possibilities that the future has to hold.

Kayla Atkinson

UC Irvine '23

Hello everyone! My name is Kayla Atkinson and I am psychology and sociology double major. In my free time, I enjoy listening to music, binging Netflix and reading a good book. I hope you enjoy my work!