*Full transparency – not all of the language in this article is survivor-friendly – using language that is survivor-friendly would have sugar-coated the message I was trying to send to those who refuse to acknowledge what actually happens around them as a problem. Please use this trigger warning if you don’t want to read.*
It’s no shocker that UC Berkeley is handling issues regarding sexual assault poorly; yet this may just be a statement that’s based off of surface level information given to the community. In regards to our previous Title IX violations, a new proposal has been written, and there has been an outlined plan on how to handle issues that arise now better than the ways they were handled in the past.
Arguing that the school does not make incidents public is a completely fair matter–but what you don’t realize is that it is up to the survivor to decide whether or not they want their story to go public, and whether or not they want their name to be published. The survivor gets to decide which pathway they would like to take, and often they tend to avoid taking the case to the police because they do not want to have to deal with the legal process or going about convincing people to believe what they have lived through–in recent political cases accusing someone of sexual assault has been known to lead the survivor into being named the villain–it should be their decision. However, I strongly urge survivors to be brave, because this person will do what they did to you to someone else if they get away with it. People need to be held accountable for their actions. You could be saving someone else by standing up and telling your story.
While I do not condone the ways in which UC Berkeley has handled numerous sexual assault cases through the Greek Community-or through the community in general-it’s unfair to state an opinion without knowing all of the facts and the legality of the matter and the opinion of the survivor. Cheating-which leads to expulsion-is punished more severely than sexual assault is at this school; that is completely unacceptable. If the university has the name of someone who has been accused of assaulting someone-1) there should be a complete investigation, and 2) if he’s found to be guilty he should be expelled.
The argument stands that it is not only Cal Greeks who perpetuate-and as a member of Cal Greeks I know how many members in this community are fighting against this issue daily-but also the administration who should be kept accountable. And they are working through this new policy to keep themselves accountable-it’s a work in progress and we will need to keep altering it to find a proper solution to the issues at hand.
And while I originally was feeling defense and in support of the Greek community, due to recent events I’m feeling less in defense and more helpless to be a part of a community which is so complacent that they refuse to accept that what is happening around them is not okay. It is so normalized to be drugged, or to be sexually assaulted that members of our organizations do not come forward in an effort to protect the members of whatever organization assaulted them in the first place. It no longer becomes the prospect of actually holding someone accountable for their actions and saving potential future people from being harassed-or Raped- and instead it becomes the prospect of protecting everyone else and ignoring making any semblance of an effort towards change.
Not only do the actions of those around me support the complacency that everyone has stated we as a community have, but they do not support the values that I thought I had found in others and myself when I joined a Greek house on this campus. With the way everyone thinks about sexual violence-as though it’s to be expected and accepted because nothing is going to change so why does it matter-you’re right, nothing is going to change because you’ve accepted that this is the way that things are.
My last few experiences with men have not been great, and while I do have male friends who I know do not perpetuate or act similarly to those who do perpetuate this culture of violence and entitlement that many people think is okay when it comes to sex, reality is disheartening.
I’ve been complacent, I’ve seen my friends be complacent, and I’ve seen men be complacent.
And I can’t morally do that to myself, and my family, and my friends;
I refuse to be complacent any longer.
We need to expect more of our society than what we do right now; we’ll never make a difference if we accept what is happening around us and decide that we don’t need to change. Regardless of what is happening in Cal Greeks, Berkeley, California, even the United States as a whole, it is not okay and it never will be okay to be complacent.