Last night, I found myself watching a few episodes of Gilmore Girls. The longing I have to explore a small town with beautiful greenery and a historic atmosphere grew. I couldn’t help myself, because I knew it was coming and now, it’s finally arrived!
Autumn’s here and I can’t wait for the summery green leaves to be painted over with shades of amber, brown, and orange. I can’t wait for the breeze to balance out the sun’s warmth, and for the wind to let the leaves gracefully drift to the ground.
Fall is not only the season of Gilmore Girls; it’s also the season of poetic Taylor Swift songs. I see myself listening to “All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version)” over and over again until I lose myself in the music or my work. Academia aesthetics come to life this season, which means not only will I be studying hard, I’ll also be reading books in cafes with a hot cup of coffee next to me. While autumn represents an era full of things I look forward to, it also represents an era of reflection and change.
Fall is not only the season of Gilmore Girls; it’s also the season of poetic Taylor Swift songs.
Fall is arguably my favorite season, but some have expressed the opposite to me. They see autumn as the season that ends summer freedom and plunges them into mounds of assignments. I understand this to a certain extent because my fear of failure has caused a great deal of stress in my life, especially when it comes to school work. In high school, I pushed myself so hard to do well that I adopted the “always behind” mindset. I thought if I treated myself like I was always behind, then I’d learn to push harder and do better.
However, when I did fail, doubt would enter my mind and the lingering thoughts of “what if it happens again?” would weigh me down. The fear of failing forced me to put on a facade of “I’m doing just fine” when truly I felt my mind was going frantic and my heart was becoming a sinking stone. However, if the leaves don’t change and reach the ground, how can a tree ever grow new ones? If there’s anything the autumn trees teach me, it’s that failure is necessary in life.
I can’t say I’m a pro at handling change and failure, and I can’t say that I’m no longer afraid to fall, but I believe there’s something to gain with every loss. We can’t forever preserve the vibrant greenery from spring and summer without the process of fall and winter. Perhaps it’s the book lover in me that romanticizes this season. It’s more than the pretty scenery and the aesthetics; it’s also the charming atmosphere that, oddly enough, motivates me to explore my introspective thoughts.
I want to say thank you to all of my past autumns for inspiring me and teaching me to be resilient. I also want to thank the current autumn season because although you just started, you’ve given me something to be excited about. Thank you, autumn, for showing me how truly beautiful change can be.