Starting college is an exciting time of new freedoms and vibrant opportunities. However, with this fresh beginning comes a fear of what you leave behind. It can be difficult to distance yourself from the familiarity of your hometown, especially your beloved friends. Going from being only a few streets from those you care about to hundreds of miles away can be incredibly intimidating. Many have this conception that moving away marks the end of a friendship, but this doesn’t have to be the case. Below are a few simple ways to continue maintaining and growing your connection, no matter the distance.
communicate your needs
What each person needs to feel adequately supported is unique. For some a simple Snapchat streak will suffice, while others need a couple of FaceTime calls a week. It’s important that you and your friend have a mutual understanding of what type and amount of communication the other prefers. Sometimes this goes unspoken, but there’s no harm in additional insight.
Keep in mind that this isn’t binding; what you need and expect will inevitably change, as it also will for your friend. Make sure to express what you’re feeling on your end and extend the same opportunity in return.
little things add up
When you are separated and life gets hectic, the most realistic option to show you care for a friend is by assuring them that you’re still thinking of them. When you’re not physically able to be with someone, you have to show how you care in other ways. Keeping track of your friend’s accomplishments and major events is essential. Consider shooting them a good luck text before a midterm or checking in to see how a job interview went!
However, it’s just as vital to show your compassion, just for the sake of it. For example, regularly send them TikToks you’d think they like or call to share a funny moment from your lecture. These are little and practically effortless tasks, but they reassure the other person that they’re still a cherished figure in your life.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of snail mail! While it takes a little more time, nothing beats how receiving letters feels.
make good use of your in-person time
Take advantage of the time you have together! For longer breaks, try making some plans ahead of time. This gives you both something to collaborate on and look forward to.
find peace with change
As your life changes, your relationships will as well. It can be difficult to accept a bond you once had is no longer as strong, especially when a person was particularly special to you in the past. Instead of trying to force your relationship back to what it once was, allow this change to happen. Acknowledge that both of you are growing and that this does not indicate a shortcoming on either end. While it’s bittersweet, find gratitude for the love and memories they provided and make peace with the new role they serve.