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The Emotional Bank

Within every relationship, we must consider the value of the emotional bank.  I do not mean you invest funds of any real fiscal significance in your partner’s or your friends or your family, but rather invest the funds of care and affection. It is so easy to pick apart another person and point out their flaws instead of appreciating them.  We’re all guilty of deciding to pick apart another person, and make sure they know exactly what it is we disapprove about their personality or their lifestyle.  We frequently get angry with others and their actions continue to bother us for an extended amount of time.  It would be so much easier if the world was filled with positivity and appreciation.  

    A relationship is a lot like a bank account if we consider this format, with a deposit as a positive statement or a validation, and a withdrawal as a negative comment or a criticism.  It’s so much easier to withdrawal money from your bank account and spend in excess, rather than build up your funds and keep making deposits.  

    This concept is something that my family would remind me of excessively growing up, and I would constantly roll my eyes and question why they thought is was necessary to continue to repeat the same lesson over and over again.  Getting to an age where you begin to understand the dynamics of a relationship more has helped me realize that their repetition was not in vain.  They truly wanted to help me see that the more you put into a relationship the more you will get out of it.  

    There is one problem to this aspect that many teenagers and young adults have failed to grasp; before you can have healthy relationships with others, you first need to have a healthy relationship with yourself.  You cannot expect to make others happy if you cannot make yourself happy first.  The bond that you form with yourself will also help you communicate more easily with others as you will be secure enough to know which pieces of yourself you don’t want to change, and which you want to work on.  

    There’s this constant thought that what others think of you defines your worth, and that is not true.  The attitude you have towards everyday life and yourself defines your worth, along with the ways that you view yourself.  If you continuously look for validation from others you will not be able to be truly happy, although the communications between you and those whom you are close to are extremely important.  Your relationships form your community, and the community of others; the more deposits you make, the healthy and happier the communities will be.  

UC Berkeley class of 2021. My heart is in the mountains, and with any corgi I see. I'm interested in writing, yoga, running, hiking, boxing, playing piano, music, adventures, and studying psychology and anthropology.
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