Today is International Women’s Day and there’s been something that’s been bugging me lately, the fact that a woman is expected to sleep with a man because he compliments her. Sometimes I go out with my friends. Actually, frequently, I go out with my friends. I don’t always drink, they don’t always drink, but we usually have a great time. We don’t set out to meet guys, but it happens on occasion. I would like the idea of meeting men when I go out with my friends if nights didn’t end with me being called “cold,” “hard,” “weird,” or any other words that beat around the bush for men calling me a b*tch for not wanting to hook up with them after they call me “pretty” or “attractive.” I even challenged one once to say something nice about me that did not pertain to my physical appearance. He had nothing. Yet, he wondered why I told him flat out not to call me. So maybe they’re right, I am a b*tch. What of it?
Women have reached a point where if a man flirts with them, he should be able to tell her she’s intelligent or kind or anything that really has zero to do with physical appearance. I find it hilarious that as soon as I ask for affirmation in this manner, I quickly become unappealing (as if I weren’t already when I wear my Hawaiian shirts). A compliment does not entitle someone to enter my personal space. A compliment is pleasant, but real talk: I don’t care. Again, I am a b*tch. Design a bridge, build it, and get over it. Or find a woman engineer to design and build the bridge, I’m positive she’s capable.
Don’t think I hate men, I dig men. I also dig women being treated as more than just something nice to look at and then later fool around with. But no, that would mean that women are equal to men! God forbid people stop saying that doing something “like a girl” in an offensive manner! That would mean that women have finally achieved equality. Weird, right?
People will say women have achieved equality, and they would be wrong. It’s kind of like saying you have enough time to watch an episode of The Flash when you have to leave for someplace in 15 minutes. Don’t lie to yourself about time and don’t lie to yourself about equality. When was the last time a man got called a bitch for not wanting the attention of a woman? I’m not saying this doesn’t happen, but it doesn’t happen often. Think about many things that are said to women but not said to men because of social constructs around what people say.
Recently I heard Jessica Valenti speak at my university. To say she was wonderful would be an understatement. If you have any doubt about women and equality, read some of her work on feminism. You’ll be flabbergasted by what she has to say. If you weren’t already a feminist, you’ll become one (though at this point, I expect all women are feminists and all men should be).