Age: 51
Major: Finalsology (the study of helping students pass)
Dad: Professor Samuel H. “Doc” Knight
Hometown: Laradise, Wyoming
HC:You’ve been helping students pass their classes for years, can you give us a clue of how your sorcery works?
Rex: “Honestly, it’s mostly from my dad, the Doc. He was a legendary UW professor who put all of his love for the University inside of me. That, and the fact I can totally scare the professors with my teeth. I mean, look at them.” *chomps teeth*
HC: So, what’s with the pinecones?
Rex: “Ummmm, they’re delicious? Have you ever eaten a pine cone, because they’re great. But, mainly I use them as a tool to sharpen my teeth. If a student gives me a pinecone, then I will go threaten their teacher, that’s how the system works.”
HC: How has the university changed since you were born?
Rex: “Well there’s a lot less hippies…so that’s awesome. Except now all these girls wear these ugly shoes and slip on the ice. Do they not know what traction is? It’s just confusing. But all in all, the university has really grown, even since 1964. Also, there’s a lot more desperate students these days. It’s hard for an old man like me to keep threatening so many teachers.”
HC: Who is your best friend on campus?
Rex: “Well Ben [Franklin] and I used to be best buds but he started hanging out and became best friends with the family in Prexy’s, who I have beef with going back years and years. So, now I’ve made an alliance with the squirrels. They’re surprisingly super fun. The Breakin’ Through cowgirl and the War Memorial Boot come over to hang out sometimes, too. They’re a riot.”
HC: What’s the one thing you want everyone on campus to know about you, that they might not?
Rex: “I just want people to know that I have a big heart. I spend all this time scaring and threatening and roaring, that I want people to know that I love them and this college. It’s pretty great. Well, as long as you can withstand the winter like I can. Also, if you find any lady dinosaurs roaming around, tell them to look a brother up.”
….we probably shouldn’t tell him they’re extinct.