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To Anyone that’s Lost Someone Around the Holidays

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Wyoming chapter.

Christmas has been my favorite holiday since I was a little kid. I love the feeling of warmth and happiness surrounded by family, the decorations, the music and the meaning of the season as a whole. Though it’s still my favorite holiday 21 years later, it’s jaded by shades of grey and has been for a few years now since someone very close to me passed away two weeks before Christmas. If you’ve lost a loved one around the holidays, you know what I mean.

It’s hard sometimes to deal with the stress of finals and the emotional reminder of losing a loved one all at once. Though I try not to think about it, grief will still creep in when I have a moment to breathe and it’s sometimes overwhelming. The difficult part of grief is that no two people handle it the same way and it never fully disappears. Yes, as time passes, it gets a little better, but there will always be a hint of sadness surrounding you in the days leading up to the anniversary of someone’s passing.  

For me, it’s difficult to talk about, as I’m sure it is for others as well. But, I want this to be a helpful read for anyone that has dealt with any form of loss. Death is no easy event to deal with, nor do I really think you can fully “get over” it. I don’t encourage “getting over” it, but I also don’t encourage dwelling on loss. When the holidays come around, I start to think back on the moments I had with my loved one before they passed. It can be really tough to see Christmas in the same light as I did when I was a child. What used to be a time filled with joy must now share its space with nostalgia and the feeling that something will always be missing. 

When December comes around and I feel myself getting upset, I pray, write, drive and distract myself with what I love to remind myself of how amazing it is to be alive. I’m surrounded by so many beautiful things and I celebrate them, whether they’re big or small. Around this time in particular, I like to think of how happy I am to see the first snow of the Christmas season, the feeling of a warm cup of cocoa in my hands, or seeing my friends and family open their gifts I got them with smiles on their face. I know that’s what my loved one would want, they wouldn’t want me holed up in my room, refusing to enjoy myself simply because they aren’t physically here with me. I love Christmas and I’m allowed to keep loving it, even if there are moments where I feel a little sad my loved one is gone.

My advice to anyone reading this is to let the grief run its course, as it probably won’t fully go away when you lose someone. I don’t recommend letting it completely take over, but it’s okay to feel sometimes and understand you’re allowed to take time to process loss when the memories creep back in. Remember everyone deals with death at some point (I know that sounds morbid, but it’s true) and you’re never alone. I hope anyone going through loss right now finds peace in the holiday season, as I know how difficult it can be.

Disclaimer: If the grief is too much to handle to the point where you cannot deal with it alone, go to a trusted friend, family member or go to the Counseling Services on campus. They are here to help you and understand that the burden of death can be hard to carry on your own.




Abbey is a senior at the University of Wyoming and is currently majoring in Journalism. She couldn't imagine a world without Jesus, coffee, The 1975, Twitter or her family. You'll usually find her at a concert or cafe somewhere, which is where she spends majority of her free-time. Talking to band members after their shows is a hobby, along with thrifting & indulging in all aspects of pop culture. After college, she plans to spend more time at concerts, getting paid to write about music and bands.
Kaitlyn is a recent grad the University of Wyoming, where she got her degree in Marketing. She has been the Campus Correspondent for a Pink level chapter, a Chapter Advisor to some amazing chapters, and now has the pleasure of being a Region Leader. Born and raised on the Western Slope of Colorado, her love for nature and the outdoors comes naturally. Kaitlyn lives for football season, but finds way to stay preoccupied during the off-season. She enjoys long walks in the mountains, beer as cold as her heart, and bacon on her burgers. You can follow Kaitlyn’s adventures on Instagram, @kaysoup.