National Eating Disorder Awareness week was February 1st – 7th this year. This article, in honor of NEDA week, is intended to raise awareness about EDs and compile information about recovery. I have to begin with a disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist, psychologist, or medical professional. If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, please seek treatment from a qualified doctor. The strategies discussed in this article may not apply to everyone. Please take care of yourselves, collegiettes, and make sure that you get help if you need it. Below, I will address the reader as if they have an ED; if this may be a trigger for you, or if you are concerned that anything in this article will be, please stop reading now.
What is an eating disorder? Eating disorders are mental illnesses that result in unhealthy relationships with food. Food is integral to many social interactions, and a nutritious diet helps to keep us physically and mentally happy; eating disorders, like most mental illnesses, will affect every aspect of a person’s life.
There are many types of eating disorders. Those involving binging, purging, and alcoholism, and restriction – among many other types of disorders – generally have very different recovery methods from each other. The best path for recovery is different for every disordered individual, but one constant is this: recovery is always worth it. In this article, we will mainly focus on anorexia, bulimia, and orthorexia, because they have more similar recovery methods than most EDs. However, not all of this advice will apply to all three – so, again, please use your own discretion.
All EDs can be equally dangerous and painful; with eating disorders, it is important not to compare oneself with other people, those with disorders or otherwise. In the media, eating disorders are often portrayed as glamorous. This is far from the case. Below are some symptoms and effects of EDs, but be warned: they are disturbing and in no way desirable. Eating disorders can be deadly and result in long-term physical damage.
Restrictive eating disorders (REDs) involve restriction of food intake and/or over exercising. They include anorexia nervosa and the newly recognized orthorexia nervosa, as well as restrictive eating disorders not otherwise diagnosed (REDNOS), which occur when the individual with an ED fits many indicators of an official diagnosis, but not all of them. People with REDs frequently suffer from constant physical cold, gastrointestinal problems, fainting, wooziness, decreased immune response, and exhaustion. To combat the cold, your body may grow a layer of thicker hair all over. Many REDs cause amenorrhea (loss of menstruation). Though, as most females can attest, this initially sounds like a good thing, it means your body is shutting down. It doesn’t have enough energy and nutrients to sustain itself, let alone a child, so it shuts down reproductive capacities. Your body literally thinks that it is dying – and it may well be.
Because you aren’t feeding it, your body will find other sources of food inside itself. If you are concerned with losing fat, a) you don’t need to be, and b) having a RED will not help. After a certain point, your body begins consuming not its own fat but its own muscle, bone, and even brain matter. Yes, your brain literally begins to eat itself. This can actually cause loss of IQ points.
Now, I can often recognize RED sufferers when I see them in the street or around my campus. Their actual size is not a tell, because ED sufferers are not necessarily a certain size. Sunken cheeks, lines around the mouth and eyes, dull skin, dry hair, bony shoulders, unnatural body proportions, and a dead expression are all indicators that I have learned to recognize, after seeing them in myself.
To show you that there is hope for anyone – but also that anorexia is not glamorous or fun – here is a haunting video of a severely anorexic woman’s plea for help. I am pleased to be able to say that she is actually doing much better now.
Eating disorders are not just “being picky,” “wanting to look like Barbie,” or “going on a diet.” They are real illnesses. People with eating disorders may not even want to attain a certain size or shape; often, people with EDs see meals as moral decisions, are addicted to exercise, or have some other psychological fixation. Whatever the causes or symptoms, your disorder is a legitimate problem that you need to address.
Many factors go into causing eating disorders, which, like all mental illnesses, involve unhealthy alterations in brain chemistry. Some EDs are linked to pre-existing anxiety, depression, or PTSD. Traumatic or stressful experiences can start disordered eating. Other people become addicted to endorphins produced through exercise, or to the feeling of intense hunger. Eating restrictions such as allergies can instill the tendency to restrict. Generally, like many mental illnesses, it can be very hard to know the root cause of an eating disorder. EDs can stem from many sources, including familial tendencies, childhood experiences, poor self-image, and brain chemistry. REDs developed in pubescence sometimes come from fear of developing sexual features or sexuality. It is important to remember that having an eating disorder is not your fault.
I was told to “get over it” because EDs are problems for rich white women. In fact, most illnesses affect certain demographics more than others, and while this is the main demographic for eating disorders, they can affect anyone – regardless of gender, social status, race, and other features.
Studies have shown that lab rats, when given limited food supplies and unlimited access to an exercise wheel, will restrict and over exercise until they die. Even cows and other domestic animals can develop EDs. Do not feel guilty about having your disorder – you probably have enough unwarranted guilt and anxiety to deal with already. Also note that it is not directly anyone else’s fault – blaming other people will not help, either.
On that note, be aware of your triggers, but don’t give in to victim mentality. While recovering, avoid your triggers when you can – but don’t blame external forces as a way of escaping responsibility for your own recovery. Your triggers may include subtle parts of your daily routine – a TV show, a certain thought pattern – or larger, more physical things – certain toxic people, the scales in your bathroom. Eventually, you may have to face these triggers – discuss this with your doctor – but at the worst points in your disorder, avoiding them may be the best course of action.
Treat your eating disorder like an abusive boyfriend or an abusive friend. This is common, good advice. You wouldn’t let another person tell you that you’re worthless or ugly. You wouldn’t let them hurt you the way your ED does. So don’t let your ED treat you that way.
Your ED is like an addiction. There are certain endorphins, such as those from exercise, which many eating disordered people crave. Teaching yourself not to crave them is hard, but worth it.
Rest and take care of yourself to spite your ED. Pamper yourself! You may frequently feel exhausted, anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed. Combat this by trying to get back to normal eating, and also by taking care of yourself in other ways. Take naps, read books, listen to music, make art, take up a new hobby. Find ways to amuse and distract yourself. Studies, work, and extracurricular activities can be great ways to take time away from your disorder. Plan home spa and movie days, take warm baths, and spend time with loved ones. All of this can help with self-acceptance.
Try to consume media that shows natural women who are comfortable in their bodies. Orange is the New Black is an example of a show that displays a larger variety of diverse appearances. In my opinion, Pretty Little Liars is an example of a show that does not.
Getting back to normal eating is hard. However, eating is crucial to recovery. You will likely have to eat more than the people around you, and this may feel awkward at first, but it is necessary. Eat what you crave (and not the low-energy foods that you tell yourself to crave) because your body needs those foods. Calories are energy, and your body is a machine you have to fuel. Otherwise, it breaks down.
Discuss meal plans with your doctor. Some doctors may think it’s best to assign them, while others avoid them. Minnie Maud is a popular one, but talk to your doctor about it rather than Googling it. The Internet has lots of inaccurate information about EDs and recovery.
When it comes to diets during recovery, my own advice is to avoid them. Diets involve restriction, which is what you should be avoiding. Even if you eventually want to be vegetarian/vegan/whatever, during your disorder and recovery is probably the worst time to do it. Some people just can’t be vegetarian/vegan/etc., and that’s okay. However, some people swear by certain recovery meal plans, though, so this is again something to talk to your physician about.
Depending on your doctor’s orders, it may be best to stay off of all ED-related online sources, even pro-recovery ones, because they cause fixation on a disorder. Other doctors may be on the opposite end of the spectrum and recommend making a recovery Instagram account, blog, etc. Different recovery methods work for different people, and you may have to try several strategies before you find the best one for you.
Recovery is all about rebuilding a healthy relationship with yourself and what you eat. You deserve to enjoy food. It is a necessary, pleasant, social part of your day. Intuitive eating – having filling, nutritious meals when your hunger cravings dictate, as well as when you feel like it – is the ultimate goal, but your hunger cravings will be all over the place during recovery, so just keep on eating, amigo! When it comes to recovery from a restrictive eating disorder, there is no such thing as binging.
(Bulimia may be different, although recovery is still about healing your relationship with food – talk to your doctor.)
All food is good food. It doesn’t matter if food it’s so-called “clean” or “healthy” food, or so-called “junk food.” As you recover, you will find that these terms are pretty relative, anyway. For an easy example, peanuts are really healthy for most people, but deadly to someone with a peanut allergy. Another example: if someone has an iron deficiency (with many people with EDs do), steak is even healthier for that person than for someone who doesn’t need the iron as much.
Everyone has particular foods that help them with recovery. For me, they were often childhood comfort foods. I also found that going out for meals or having someone else prepare them was better for me, because then I wasn’t micromanaging what went into my body.
Odds are you also have “fear foods”: foods that you avoid more than any others. Most doctors recommend challenging yourself by eating these foods – some recommend doing so once a week at a scheduled time, while others say to eat them when ever they are offered. Eating these foods is a great step towards recovery.
Big, nutritious meals can be made on a budget, too. Jamie Oliver’s site, Simply Recipes, and Greatist have some great recipes. Someday, hopefully, you’ll love food the way chefs and foodies do. Enjoying food is natural, and everyone has to eat. Yes – everyone.
You are not a number. Your weight, measurements, and/or clothing size may be sources of anxiety for you right now. But would you be that anxious over some other arbitrary number, such as your shoe size or hat size?
BMI is not an accurate measure of healthy weight. It is an average, helpful for statistics but not for individual people – despite the fact that many doctors use it as if it were. BMI does not account for differences in body type, for bone structure, for unusual height, for broader hips/shoulders, size of feet/heads/limbs, muscle mass, etc… Similarly, people’s calorie needs differ much more than you probably believe, and during recovery, people with restrictive eating disorders need a lot of calories. And a lot of carbs, fat, protein, iron, vitamin C… the list goes on.
I stopped weighing myself or even having weigh-ins with my doctor, and that was a major step towards my recovery. I realized that my weight really doesn’t affect my day-to-day life in any way, as long as it’s healthy. However, this may not work for everyone, so make sure you discuss it with your doctor!
Recovery will not make you “fat.” One really good quote about this: “you are not fat. You have fat. You are also not fingernails, but you have fingernails.” Having fat is a condition of being alive. It insulates your organs and feeds your brain. “Fat” is not an insult, and “skinny” is not a complement. You are probably terrified that recovery will make you look and feel horrible. Well, it won’t. Trust me. Since I recovered, personally, I look and feel better than I ever have.
With an eating disorder, you often see yourself as looking very different from how you actually do. The way you see yourself actually distorts. This is called “body dysmorphia.”
Now that I’m better, I can look back at old pictures of myself and realize how gaunt and unwell I looked. At the time, I saw a distorted version of myself in the mirror.
A lot of the sick people worry about certain “fat” parts of the body. “Fat rolls,” for example. Fold over your hand – your skin “rolls,” doesn’t it? That happens so that you can move. Stretch marks are also completely natural. They happen when people get taller, and when they go through puberty. Cellulite, too, is natural – some companies try to demonize it to sell products.
Last year, the so-called “thigh gap” (the presence or absence of which is largely determined by your bone structure and does not indicate anything significant about you) was a huge “trend.” This year, it’s the “thighbrow,” which is just a line where the thigh connects to the torso. Fun fact, though: human bodies not trends. Body type cannot and should not be changed based on what is in style. In general, whatever size and shape you are happy, healthy, and natural at is the best one for you. Allow your body to take its natural form. This is the healthiest and most beautiful form it can take. No matter who you are, your natural size and shape is going to be the one that suits you: your eyes will be at their brightest, your smile will be prettiest, and you’ll feel the best on the inside. It’s important to remember, too, that there is a range of normal for each person.
Achieving a baseline healthy weight is a good starting point, but that’s a narrow tightrope to walk; it’s very easy to relapse at that point. Try this article on so-called “overshooting”/bloating during recovery and other relapse-triggering aspects of recovery.
Your disorder is not your identity. When you have an eating disorder, or any mental illness, it becomes almost your entire life. You may befriend others living with disorders , only communicate in disordered thoughts, and forget how life was without the disorder. Once you recover, it’s difficult to see past this idea of yourself. It’s hard to find an identity outside of what you’ve been focused on (obsessed with) for a long time, but trust me – you will. And you’ll like that identity a lot more than the one you have now. You won’t be the same person you were before your illness, but that’s okay.
(And if you think being the disordered girl is somehow attractive, it isn’t. The guys who were attracted to me when I was sick were generally guys with a “thing” for underweight girls. Not exactly boyfriend material!)
You are not your disorder. Your disorder is not you. Your disorder is not beautiful. You are.
I know I said not to compare yourself to other people – but, in this media-saturated world, you’re going to do it anyway. So, here are some pages that might help you feel a bit better and learn to love the body you’re in (use at your own discretion):
– Buzzfeed Stretch Marks Article
– Buzzfeed Women Showing off Their Stretch Marks
– The Belly Project
– My Body Gallery
– Thigh Reading Piece
– Athletes without their clothes inspiration article
A word on doctors, friends, and family… Doctors usually have great advice. However, sometimes they say insensitive things without meaning to. Realize that this is a possibility. Doctors are only human. Also, know that you are much more prone to misinterpreting comments or taking them to heart right now.
If you are friends with someone who you think may have an eating disorder, try to talk about subjects other than food, exercise, appearance, and other potentially triggering topics. Discuss these with other friends if you need to. If you eat together, make yourself a good example if you can: eat a normal meal and enjoy yourself. Realize that your friend is in a sensitive place, and if they lash out, obsess, or have breakdowns, it’s not your fault. Realize that you don’t have a responsibility to take care of them, either, but if you hang out, try to take it easy on them. If you are on a diet, don’t talk about it in front of the disordered person. EDs and diets are not the same, but hearing about diets can damage a person with ED and her/his road to recovery.
Family members: eating meals as a family is proven to be really good for mental health. If you can, provide large, balanced portions of nutritious food – and encourage RED-sufferers to go back for more. If you are a parent or guardian of a person with ED, get involved in the recovery process; talk to their doctor and find out what you can do to help. And, no matter how worried you might be, never force-feed someone struggling with an ED. This only worsens their feelings towards food.
If you are faking an eating disorder, encouraging someone in an eating disorder to continue their disordered behavior, or running a pro-ED website: STOP. Immediately. Eating disorders are the deadliest form of mental illness. Any of the above behaviors actively endanger other people.
If you have an eating disorder, unapologetically disassociate yourself from people who behave like this!
Once you are recovered enough to expend energy on more strenuous activities, a sport may be in order – but not a skinny-centric one, such as ballet. Be careful, too, of overly intense coaches or sports that require strict meal schedules and weigh-ins. For me, roller derby was extremely helpful. I got to hang out with cool, powerful women of all sorts. I love weight lifting, too, because it builds healthy muscle mass but doesn’t require cardio. During recovery, talk to your doctor about exercise; it is often best to minimize it.
This Tumblr, fyoured (short for “f*ck your eating disorder,” a mantra we should repeat every day), has some amazing recovery tips. Try this page, and this one.
This recovery account is great, too.
As is this one.
If you need to hear some badass, gorgeous, powerful women talking about their badass, gorgeous, powerful bodies, check out these articles:
For the record, I really like my life post-recovery. I’m healthier and can do a lot more stuff, like going to parties, having supper with friends, and being a normal young adult. However, I did struggle with slips and relapses, even after being recovered for a year or more. This is normal, but you do need to push through it. It can feel like a major setback, but don’t be ashamed to tell someone.
Recovery is 100% worth it! The alternative is a serious, life-threatening condition with long-term impacts on your health. Good luck in recovery, lovely collegiettes! Here’s to it getting better! The National Eating Disorder Association has some good information. Check out their website and if you feel comfortable doing so, contact them here.