When the Nintendo Switch was released, you were like “It’s fine. I don’t need it and I need money for rent.” This March, the hotly anticipated Animal Crossing: New Horizons was released for the portable console. Everyone’s lost their minds over it, so you probably feel pretty silly right now. You’re not alone. Millions of people chose to not purchase a Nintendo Switch and are now being forced to watch their friends, their significant others, their families and the entire internet live joyous and carefree lives with their animals and their crossing… well, to be honest, I don’t know anything about the game. Because I didn’t buy it. The FOMO is real, everyone. Let’s look at the best ways to cope.
- Get Animal Crossing Pocket Camp
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I know! I know that it isn’t the same. But it’s a free app and it might satiate you, for now.
- Buy a similar game
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Hate phone games? Get yourself a different, but still entertaining, farming and friendship game. I just spent $16.99 on Stardew Valley.
- Mute all mention of Animal Crossing from your social media. You don’t need that in your life.
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I’m serious, stop torturing yourself by trying to understand inside jokes that aren’t for you. Shut it all down, that’s self-care.
- We’re all trapped in our personal real-life islands right now. Reorganize all of your furniture for that fully customized island feeling!
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You may not be able to hang out with Tom Nook, but you’ll be damned if you can’t have a reading nook. Pile all your pillows into a corner and unwind with a book.
- Look at how much it would cost to get a Switch (and the game itself). Pat yourself on the back for how much you’ve saved.
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Whatever you do, don’t even think about ordering one. It’s literally a pandemic, you can wait.
- Put hats on your pets and give them rent money. They’re your landlords now.
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They will accept treats as payment. Don’t be late.
I’m gonna level with you guys. These might not work. The jealousy is overwhelming. I have never wanted to be a part of something so badly, and this is worse than the summer of Pokémon GO when I couldn’t afford data on my phone so I just sat in my house catching Zubats all day. Please send me your support, advice and, if you’re a millionaire, a Nintendo Switch.