Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
/ Unsplash

Girls and Friend-Zoning: What’s the Problem Here?

The friendzone. It’s an inescapable vortex and a metaphorical hell. It is the one place no guy ever wants to be. Being “friendzoned” means there is a total lack of interest (whether physically, sexually, or mentally) shown by one party and indicates never being able to be in any relationship beyond that friendship. Currently, this zone is presented as an area that (usually) we girls place guys in, forever crushing any hopes that they ever had with us.  We feel pressured to go on that one date or reply to his persistent texts because we feel “bad”.  What lies! There are so many reasons why we place guys in the friendzone – and why we should never ever feel bad about it.

In archaic times, there was such a thing called boundaries. Just because you demonstrate a lack of emotional interest in a guy doesn’t mean that you don’t care. If I treat a guy strictly as a friend, it doesn’t mean I dislike him or that I’m shooting him down. It means that, at the current moment, I just want there to be boundaries in our relationship. Yes, I want to get to know him better but at the same time I want to make it perfectly clear that I do not want to kiss, make out, or stroke his hair etc. Like me, you are probably more comfortable when your personal space is respected. As ladies and human beings, we should never feel guilty or “bad” about resisting more than what we want; we are completely entitled to making our limits known.

There is no denying that you have all seen, retweeted, shared, or posted some cheesy quote about wanting to marry your best friend. And then you probably have a series of pins on Pinterest on how it will never happen. But guess what? It’s possible! Next time you hear a boy complain about being in the friendzone, let them know that yes, it may suck right now but that patience, young grasshopper, is needed. Why should you feel awful for wanting to take things slowly? Maybe you want to get to know him with no commitment and in a casual setting. Who knows, it might be EXACTLY like the movie 13 Going on 30, where you thought you were just friends but then realized there’s something more. So you get married, move into a nice neighbourhood, and live happily ever after!

Friendzoning is just a fact of life. We have all (and will be) friendzoned at one time or another. Girls need to stop apologizing for what we really want and start celebrating the fact that we are free to do what we want. So live it up. Earn that frienzoner of the year award. 

Femi Tunde-Oladepo is in her final year at the University of Victoria where she is studying at the Peter B. Gustavson School of Business. After her undergrad, Femi hopes to read law and master French, Spanish and Italian. She is an active volunteer in her community and enjoys working with the Rotaract Club on campus. Having filled numerous notebooks as a child, Femi adores writing — especially short stories. She likes to dance (spontaneously), listen to all genres of music, laugh loudly and be the sassiest person in a room. In her spare time, Femi likes to window shop online, go for runs and reorganize spaces. One day, Femi hopes to perfect the art of soft pretzels. Follow her on Instagram @femzieb to see her attempts at being artsy and pensive.
Similar Reads👯‍♀️