Ah, turning 21! It’s actually kind of a big deal. 20 seemed huge because you had finally left your teenage years but 21 is even bigger because you are one crucial step closer to becoming who you want to be.
As I turn 21, I reflect on all of the things that I have learned about myself, others, and relationships. The lessons from these experiences are the reasons why 21 is bound to be a year filled with fun. At 21, you actually have some sort of way to manage all the madness!
By the time you’re 21, you’ve probably realized:
1) What an a-hole you can be
You’ve done a lot of jerky things in your lifetime so far and you’ll probably do more. You’ve bailed on so many people, let your parents down once or twice, or hurt the people closest to you. The best part about realizing this, though, is that you are actively aware and able to change your behaviour!
2) What you deserve
Just because you’re not your nicest sometimes doesn’t mean you should put up with people who don’t care about you at all. You’ve had enough poor friendships and bad interactions to know that people who don’t treat you well don’t deserve to be a part of your life.
3) That not everyone is going to be your friend (and that’s totally cool) …
You’ve thrown yourself at enough guys people to know that not everyone is going to reciprocate your need for friendship. Your eyes have been opened to what true friendship is and you’ve accepted that not everyone is going to want to build that with you. Some people are going to be just great to hang out with and the relationship won’t be any deeper than that and that makes sense. Besides, you can only have so many besties.
4) How important it is to cherish the people who want to be in your life
Because you’re aware that not everyone is going to be your friend, you now realize how important it is to spend time with the people who actively want to be in your life. The people who will let you disturb them on a Friday morning to talk things out or Skype with you after a bad breakup: those are the people who you want to continue to stay connected to.
5) How much your family loves you
You’ve probably messed up so much by now that the fact that your family hasn’t disowned you is astonishing. You’re thankful that you have a place to call home, a mother who calls you constantly enough, and siblings who get excited to see you when you come home.
6) How little time you have to spend with your family from this point on
Pretty soon you’ll be graduating or working in a different city on your own, away from your home. You realize that this is what comes with growing up but it’s also a little bit scary and sad too.
7) What you are good at
Writing (or so you think). Being loud. Cleaning. Dancing like a mad child. Being a hot mess.
8) What you are terrible at
Choreography (don’t tell me how to move my limbs). Math…because it will never just “make sense” to you. Cooking from memory.
You also, at this point in time, know…
9) What you want in life
You have some idea of what your future career will look like. You know you want friendships where the connection is deeper than talking about “what’s the haps on campus.” You want to fall in love like people do in the movies (and you want to throw up a little bit every time you think about this).
10) And what you definitely don’t need in your life
People who don’t make an effort for you. Fake friends. Drama (unless it involves the Kardashians and/or Nicki Minaj). Any candy/super sugary treat (you’ve gotten enough cavities and broken out enough times to know that your body hates this).
11) How to be (genuinely) happy
You know what makes you happy and how find your happiness when things get tough.
12) That it’s okay to be sad
People aren’t happy all the time. If anyone seems like they’re happy all the time, they are definitely just good at acting.
13) How to be alone (and love it)
You eat lunch on your own with no shame or no phone. If your friends can’t go shopping with you it’s no problem; you have two legs and know how to get to the mall.
14) When you need to be with others
Spending a whole day in class listening to a teacher then heading to the library to study is too much alone time for you. You need to complain to someone about your day.
15) How to be responsible
You know when to spend money, when to buy groceries and when to start that project.
16) When to throw caution to the wind
You know when to blow money, when cereal will suffice as breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and when that assignment worth 0.1% of your grade is so not worth doing.
You’ve also fully accepted…
17) Your past
The good, the bad and the ugly of it all.
18) Your inevitable flaws
Is it possible for you to be early instead of alternating between right on time and late?
19) That life sometimes sucks
Life has given you a lot of lemons but now you have enough lemonade to serve the world. And there’s going to be more to come.
20) Who you really are
You genuinely love watching animated films. You will always cry no matter how many times you watch Frozen or Inside Out. The fact that you follow Barbie on Instagram is probably considered weird by most people’s standards.
21) That you still have a lot to learn.
There you have it! You may not have it all figured out but you know a lot more than you did when you were 16!
I hope your 21st will be a ton of fun and that you have an unmeasurable amount of happiness in your life!