Now, darling. Shhhh. Put the tub of Ben and Jerry’s down, and no one will get hurt. Pull yourself together. You may be single, but you’re a lady, now start acting like one!
Us single ladies have been known to cause a ruckus this time of year. Chanting the Beyoncé anthem. Saying things like, “I don’t need no man to make me happy!” and proceeding to give the stink eye to cute couples on the TTC. This behavior needs to stop. The first one absolutely must be abolished because Jay-Z already put a ring on it.
So what else could you possibly do instead of the above on Valentine’s Day?
DON’T send a bitter, sassy message to a heart-breaker in your life. (And don’t stalk him on Facebook either!)
DO send unexpected warm fuzzies (def’n: a sweet message causing the recipient to feel all warm and fuzzy inside) to all of your close friends. Take the time to explain what you love about that person and send it over! It doesn’t matter if they are single or not, just be cute! Or you can even buy those little Valentines from the dollar store that kids in middle school pass around. There were always Spongebob ones or Disney ones; you will make everyone’s day by reminding them of their childhoods!
DON’T sit on your couch and watch The Notebook. I know you want to, and probably will anyways, but don’t! You will just end up texting your best friend saying things like, “OMG Why can’t I find a Noah! At least, Ryan and Rachel are Canadian, there’s hope.”
Girl, please.
DO fetch your best friend and make your very own spa day. Yogurt and lemon juice? Face mask. Brown sugar and honey? Body scrub. Olive oil? Hair mask. Done. How easy was that? Go do whatever your girly hearts desire. While you’re waiting for your nails to dry, watch Dumb and Dumber. That movie isn’t romantic at all, unless you count the two main characters sitting in a heart shaped tub, drinking beers. Enough said.
DON’T look at yourself in the mirror and think there’s something wrong with you. There is absolutely nothing worse than seeing my stunning friends say, “I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m ugly”.What breaks my heart is the fact that these beautiful girls reduce themselves to objects. You’re a girl. No, I have something better to call you. You’re a woman.
Why do you think guys say we’re so complicated? No, it isn’t because they’re dumb. They’re just guys, cut them some slack. They’re telling the truth! They say we’re difficult to understand, because we are!
We are layered.
We are intricate.
We are unique.
I mean, I don’t want to get cheesier than Cheese Wiz, but I just have to say, when someone tells you that you’re beautiful, accept it. It’s true.
You are like that beautiful snowflake falling from the sky right now, and soon enough, you will fall right into someone’s arms.
DO dress to impress, and take an extra 5 minutes on your hair. Walk around the big city like the beautiful woman that you are. And never forget that last accessory.
Your big, show-stopping smile!
Have a lovely Valentine’s Day, ladies! I hope it’s one you never forget! :) <3
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