Explaining Mansplaining
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been talked down to, been forced to listen to someone about a subject we were more than knowledgeable about, and been subjected to patronizing tones. I’m not unfamiliar with people talking down to me. As a shy, quiet, little person who is often reluctant to assert herself, speak up, and make her opinion known, I am ashamed to admit how easy it is for others to step all over me. Enter mansplaining.
You might be wondering what this term is. Not surprisingly, the word mansplain is a relatively new term created from a combination of the words “man” and “explain.” According to KnowYourMeme, the term is believed to have been first coined in 2008 from the comments section of an op-ed article written by Rebecca Solnit titled “Men Who Explain Things.” It is defined as “(of a man) explaining (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.” From this, a plethora of spin-off terms have also emerged including “whitesplaining,” where a white person may have “a lot to say about racism to people of color.”
However, has the concept behind mansplaining and splaining itself become a gendered term? The concept of mansplaining is rife with political and social controversy. The problem most people have with the term is that it creates a gendered divide. On the one hand, the term can be, and historically has been, used to advocate for and protect minority rights – minorities who have suffered through a history of being silenced, such as women, racial minorities, and the LGBTQ community. However, on the other hand, mansplaining has and can also be used to bar men from communicating, automatically blaming them for speaking whether their explanation was condescending or not. It is important to remember that technically even women can be guilty of mansplaining when explaining something in a condescending manner to another individual. Therefore, you can see why the “man” in mansplaining might not fit. Making mansplaining a gendered thing potentially alienates an entire other gender and group of people.
So what do we do about all of this? Consider this quote from RationalWiki:
While my thoughts and ideas have certainly been dismissed before, they’re certainly not exclusive to men; such dismissals have come from both men and women. I might even be mansplaining to you right now with my explanation of mansplaining. However, when these incidences occur, I also try to see it from their point of view. If I can see it as a genuine mistake on their part about whether or not I already knew the facts, I let it go. Sometimes I politely explain that I do in fact know what they’re talking about. To avoid “mansplaining” myself, I try to remember that I am not the exclusive holder of any knowledge and that there is always a chance that the person you’re explaining something to might already be knowledgeable about the subject. It’s important to practice empathy and to try to see things from another point of view, no matter which side of the explaining or argument you’re on.
None of this should take away from the fact that minority groups often do have their voices silenced and interrupted. Women, racial minorities, and other groups often have their ideals and ideas talked over or looked at with condescension. I know there have certainly been times where I’ve felt as if I was looked down on or given less of a say in things because I am female, Asian, or just plain too small to make a noticeable presence. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. It makes you feel small, unimportant, and just plain idiotic. However, I find that it is also important to separate this condescension from the mere explanation of facts by anybody to anyone. Just because you do not agree with a person’s opinion does not mean that he/she is automatically patronizing or condescending you. If a person politely disagrees with me on a subject, I don’t automatically assume that they’re looking down on me or putting less of a value on my opinion because of my gender, ethnicity or size. Sometimes they’re just pointing out their valid point of view. But remember that the operative word here is politely and that both sides in this situation are taking the other side’s opinions into legitimate consideration.
To avoid offending someone with your point of view, especially if you’re not a part of the certain “category” being spoken about, remember that while your opinion matters, your opinion also comes from different personal experiences. Ultimately, they should not overshadow the voices from the class that is being spoken about. Like the RationalWiki quote, you should stop, listen, and consider.
Thus, with such considerations about different individual point of views, personal experiences, and even statuses, you can see why the term mansplaining can be confusing and problematic. Perhaps it’s time to think of a different word.