Edited by Tasmiyah Randeree
Self-love is a practice. Self-love is a concern for one’s own well-being and satisfaction. Self-love is having a peace of mind with ourselves. Self-love is being happy with who we are, and focusing on one’s positive aspects and communicating that to the world.
Many of us are so busy keeping up with life, that we forget to enjoy life. We forget to take time for ourselves throughout our own independent journey. It is really important that we, as individuals, practice self-love. Whether that’s curling up on the couch an hour before bed and reading a book. Or, whether that’s lighting some scented candles and taking a bubble bath with a glass of wine. Whatever it is, do more of it. Do more of what makes you happy. Do more self-lovin’!
I decided to speak with Sam, a University of Toronto student, to learn more about her experience with self-love and how she overcomes the various struggles associated with loving herself.
Her Campus (HC): Can you please describe to me what self-love means to you? Explain, if any, various struggles relating to self-love that you experience?
Sam: What self-love means to me is love yourself. It’s something you have to remember when you’re ready to beat yourself up over any small thing or when you look in the mirror and pick out every flaw. Self-love is loving yourself through all the imperfections and doubts unconditionally and fully; it’s accepting yourself for who you are and truly understanding that you are perfect just the way you are. Self-love is one of the hardest but most rewarding things to achieve.
Self-love is really hard for me because I was bullied at such a young age, I learned to hate myself when I was 12 years old and struggle till this day with loving myself. Sometimes when I look in the mirror it’s just all darkness; I can’t even point out one good thing. Sometimes, I downgrade myself in my head, while I do something. These are some of the thoughts I have: “You’re so dumb, why would you do that?” or “You look so ugly, keep walking.” I send myself my own attacks that tear me down. Being diagnosed with depression and social anxiety doesn’t help. I always need someone’s approval even though the approval I need the most is mine. My road to loving myself is a tough one.
HC: What are some tips or advice you would give to others regarding practising self-love?
Sam: It’s harder loving yourself than loving someone else. We always put higher standards on ourselves to meet. We have to forgive ourselves; our life it too long and beautiful to just throw away. You are beautiful, and most people won’t believe this coming from someone. But then I started listening to it from my best friend mostly; she showed me that I have multiple reasons to love myself. Even the scars I made are beautiful to me. Please don’t hide behind your mask. You have multiple reasons too, so you should love yourself. I’m learning how to myself, that’s the first step and that’s the biggest advice I can give.
My Journey With Self-Love
Self-love has been a constant struggle for myself as well. Not only do I struggle with loving and appreciating who I am on a daily basis, but I find it difficult to not compare myself to others. I find myself in a dark place when I do these things. Lately, I’ve decided to change my attitude and be more positive— “Try your best in every aspect of your life, and if it works out, great! But if it doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant for you.”
This attitude has helped me to become a better version of myself and truly reach my full potential. Likewise, I’ve learned to love myself regardless of my flaws and weaknesses, by focussing on my strengths and improving what I think needs more work. In this way, I practice self-love on a daily basis. Whether that’s engaging in reflective writing at the end of the day or rewarding myself for getting through the day, I practice self-love. Everyone deserves to be loved, but it truly starts with loving yourself first. Do more self-lovin!