Like many university students, I only recently entered my 20s. As everyone was wishing me a happy birthday I developed many insights as to how I want to live my life with the freedom and exploration that this next decade tends to come with. I am beyond eager to embrace this new stage, but I also got into some pretty deep thinking. You see, everyone older than me told me they were excited for me, to enjoy my 20s, and wished they were my age again. To ‘enjoy’ and ‘live your life’ are incredibly common phrases, but what does it truly mean?
In my opinion, ‘living your best life’ should ideally mean different things for every person. Everyone has different wants, needs, and situations, which should all be reflected in what defines a fulfilled life. Despite differences on the surface, at the core of attaining an ideal lifestyle should be the important notion of not letting other people dictate how you live your life moving forward. For most of high school, people’s actions revolve around quite the opposite – the approval of everyone. I would not be alone in acknowledging that practically everyone thought, acted and dressed the same to achieve the ultimate goal of fitting in and not being deemed an ‘outsider.’
This entire mentality begins to change as soon as high school finishes and actually develops even further once you reach your 20s. Because let’s face it…. at 20 everyone is busy! I know I’m not the only one who can relate when I say that not seeing your childhood friends every day is hard and it sucks. People are busy and it sometimes becomes even more challenging than ever imagined to live this adult life. When 2 years ago the biggest concern was where your friend was going to drive you guys to at lunch, it hits hard when you are all struggling to find a day to even grab lunch. So let’s face it…. there may come a time when you are the only one who wants to do something, you may be the only one with some free time to do something, or maybe you simply want to be alone when doing something. Regardless, it is important to not be afraid to be and do things alone. As important as friends are, life can get in the way quite often and it can be so hard to sit around and wait for someone to be free. If you have an interest then pursue it, and absolutely do not hold back.
Image Credit: Gabriel Bulla
There tends to be a huge stigma around experiencing things and going places alone. I remember one instance where I was meeting friends at a pretty busy restaurant downtown and I went first to get a table. Traffic ended up being heavier than anticipated for them and I was sitting at a table of six alone for 45 minutes. The entire time I was checking my phone while anxiously looking at every single group of people that walked by hoping they wouldn’t notice that I was by myself. But why? When you think deeper, there isn’t a true good reason why doing something alone should be perceived as such a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that you are lonely or have no friends, all it shows is that you do not let other people hold you back.
Your 20s are a time for exploration, both of the self and of the world. Tackling this exploration alone should not come with negative connotations because it is by yourself that you are able to think deeper about what you truly enjoy. So I encourage everyone in their 20s to try something alone at least once. It could be as simple as going to the movies or as adventurous as a solo trip through Europe. Whatever it is, allow yourself to get lost in it because chances are no one is paying much attention to you anyways.