This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Penn chapter.
Long distance relationships often get a bad rep, yet they remain a reality for many collegiate women. Perhaps you met your significant other in high school and are now attending college in different states; maybe you met in college and now are contemplating life after graduation. Whatever the situation, know that your relationship is unique–no one but you and your partner can decide if the pros outweigh the cons.
Possible Cons
Long distance is not for the faint of heart
Let’s start with the bad news: certainly absence makes the heart grow fonder, but absence can also place severe strain on relationships. For some people, not seeing someone makes
their existence less concrete, an out of sight out of mind mentality. You likely will not see each other on a frequent basis and, if you are used to being together everyday, this will be challenging.
Making one another a priority is the most important test
This is a con because failed long distance relationships are not always a result of incompatibility. Unfortunately, distance can dissolve relationships that previously had real potential. Making one another a priority is much more difficult than it sounds due to the simple fact that life gets busy. We have so many obligations; school, work, family, friends, that relationships with people we do not see often and consequently must carve out time for takes pointed effort. This effort must be also be reciprocal- if both people aren’t equally invested it will create frustration and stress that eats away at the relationship. If you and your partner aren’t intentional about remaining close, life goes on and it’s easy to drift apart.
Possible Pros
Your relationship will be founded on a strong friendship
Long distance relationships are all about communication. While you are apart, your only substantive means of interaction, with the exception of texting, is though speaking on the phone or video chatting. You must learn, therefore, to talk to one another. You learn to share you day, your thoughts, your emotions– everything about you– by saying it to your significant other. This gives you the opportunity build your relationship on a strong foundation of mutual respect and understanding, a foundation that lasting relationships depend on.
Making one another a priority is the most important test
This is also a pro because it is something you and your significant other can control. There are no guarantees, but if both people in the relationship make the other a priority, there is a chance that the relationship will be successful. This is a test that, with time, filters out the factors that doom relationships such as incompatibility or lack of commitment. In fact, continuing to make each other a priority is in of itself a statement of commitment, and means that despite the distance both people feel that the relationship is important enough to preserve. If it is healthy and remains a priority to both parties, the relationship may very well be stronger than those between couples that have never experienced distance.
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