Growing up in a large Italian family, holiday traditions weren’t just a part of the winter season — they monopolized it. It was hard to imagine a Christmas Eve without my church’s Nativity pageant, directed by my mom, a house full of laughing children dancing around a 12–foot tree, and about ten fishes more than required by the Feast of the Seven Fishes. However, as with many things in the last year, my family’s holiday traditions were put to bed in the name of keeping us safe.
This loss wasn’t something only I experienced; my friends, who often scoffed at having to spend time with their overly opinionated aunts, sing prayers, or cook for hours, developed a newfound appreciation for the traditions that had defined their Decembers. While I’ve always loved my family traditions, I’m the life of every Christmas party and eat enough Pandoro (Italian Christmas cake) to fill a pantry; the pandemic helped other people realize just how much holiday traditions meant to them.
As young adults who no longer live at home, the opportunities to celebrate these occasions with family are dwindling. This year, I didn’t get to pick out my family’s Christmas tree or decorate the front of our home for the first time — activities that always remind me of my Nonno, who would happily put his life at risk to dangle from a ladder to hang lights. With time slipping through our fingers, it becomes that much more important to cherish the opportunities we have to spend time with the people we love.
Nevertheless, despite what seems like the obvious value of holiday traditions, there’s little retention of them across generations. The celebration of these traditions declines substantially over time. Only half of Americans still celebrate traditions from their childhood, and only about a third have carried on remnants from their grandparent’s holidays.
Traditions are proven to be good for strengthening families, especially for children. They’re correlated with tighter family bonds, a greater sense of belonging among family members, and more defined memories for growing children. In families as populated as mine (I have eleven first cousins, another ten once removed, and one on the way), I can personally attest to the fact that our traditions have kept us close (in addition to most of us living within a ten mile radius!).
For many families like my own, holiday traditions often have a uniquely religious bend to them. Unsurprisingly, in the United States, along with declining family traditions, there’s been an increase in the secularization of Christmas and other religious holidays. Despite 93% of American adults celebrating Christmas, only 35% describe their celebrations as “strongly religious.” These numbers are similar among Catholic Americans, only 37% of whom find their Christmas celebrations “strongly religious,” and are lowest among Americans in our age group (18-29) at just 20%. In my opinion, this represents a devaluation of the “meaning” of holidays, beyond just a failure to recognize their religious significance— especially since secularization comes hand in hand with a commercialization of the holidays.
This is evident in the way politicians and news outlets have replied to the impact of the current supply chain crisis on Christmas gift delivery. Headline after headline describes the issue: “Will supply-chain issues ruin Christmas?”, “Christmas is canceled?”, and “White House scrambles to address looming Christmas crisis.” All convey the same sentiment: without “gifts,” Christmas is unrecognizable. This is clearly a complete abandonment of not only the holiday’s religious roots, but also its moral underpinning. Even in the most secular sense, the holiday season should be defined by charity, love, friends, family, and joy — not by how many Amazon packages are delivered to our front doors.
While lighting candles on an Advent wreath or menorah may not be emblematic of your personal holiday season, I encourage you to preserve your own holiday traditions and make new ones in line with the real meaning of this time of year. Spending the time away from home? Start an annual holiday potluck with friends or volunteer at the local soup kitchen. In the same way children’s memories are strengthened by practicing traditions, so are your memories of your experiences with whoever you spend the season with — friends and family alike.
As I write this, I just received a photo of the enormous Christmas tree that has taken up residence in my home. I know that when I attend Mass on Christmas Eve, dance to “All I Want For Christmas Is You” with my best friends, and eat my Nonna’s zeppoles, I’m going to feel grateful I get to indulge in my cherished holiday traditions. Celebrating this season is a privilege; don’t let it feel like an obligation or let it be degraded to a pile of wrapped gifts.