Prior to entering my sophomore year of college, I found myself living in an apartment in a city far from home, living on what really felt like my own for the first time – little did I realize freshman year, equipped with dining halls, washing machines in my building, a cleaning staff who took care of the bathroom, and an RA, that I was nowhere near adulthood.
So, I’ve obviously taken to texting my mom approximately twenty times a day asking for various advice on how to generally be a human being – and I thought I’d put together a little confessional list so that everyone else can feel okay about it too (or I can just publicly shame my shockingly minimal amount of survival knowledge).
1. Can I eat this meat still?
I find myself texting my mom at least once a week about various meats that I’ve bought and put in the freezer (because that’s what you do?) from the grocery store. But can you refreeze if you thought you were going to cook it and then changed your mind and got cheese fries for dinner again? Or do you have to throw it out with the other two cases of chicken that you accidentally let get covered in frostbite that have turned a mysterious (yet, oddly charming) green?
2. What am I going to study?
Like, actually though. Could I still pull off a marine biology degree with a minor in astronomy? Because I love stars. And dolphins.
3. Is that mold or brown paint?
Given the conditions of my house, a grungy, approximately 300-year-old townhouse in West Philadelphia, my housemates and I are continuously asking one another if certain ambiguous splotches are any various mold or fungus – after which we obviously have to get a mom-firmation via text.
4. Can you send me a picture of the dogs?
More often than not, when I’m having a bad day, I consult my mom for a picture of my two dogs – or, better yet, a FaceTime with them. Sorry, Mom and Dad – sometimes a human just doesn’t cut it.
5. Am I an adult yet?
Does a poptart count as a meal? If so, then the answer is yes.
Thank you for putting up with me, Mom – I’m on my way to that answer being a solid, actual yes. And to know when to stop eating old meat.