You Know *You’re an English Major When…

1)    Proper grammar turns you on.

2)    You have more books than friends.

3)    All of your tattoo ideas consist of quotes from your favourite novels, and if you ever went through with it, you’d be a walking and talking book.

4)    Your visions of romance are delusional because you’ve read Pride & Prejudice one too many times.

5)    You enjoy calligraphy porn.

6)    The most satisfying thing when getting a new book is cracking the spine on your first read.

7)    When asked about your path of study, people always reply with “Oh, so you want to be a teacher?”

8)    You get your Canadian Literature reading list and you’re just like “What is this?”

9)    You don’t mind buying all the books on your reading list because: 1) They’ll never be as expensive as your friend’s psych textbook, and 2) You were going to read them at some point anyway.

10) You browse the Out of Print Clothing store endlessly and promise yourself that someday that beautiful Gatsby sweater will be yours.

11) It drives you crazy when Profs require you to have sources in an opinion paper.

12) You’re a walking-talking thesaurus for your non-English major friends.

13) When you find yourself doing an assignment or studying for an exam, you procrastinate by writing your own poetry or polishing off the next chapter in your novel.

14) You spend more money on books than clothes.

15) Math isn’t your strong suit.


16) You are skeptic about using a Kobo.

17) You hate writing research papers.  What are footnotes?

18) You thank Shakespeare for inventing so many great words and phrases.

19) When you actually read during reading week.

20) You’re the only person who truly understands the true purpose of an oxford comma.


21) When your non-English major friends ask you to proof read their papers and they’re so bad you might as well have saved ink by soaking it in your fruit punch.

22) You get upset when you remember you actually have to read your Canadian Literature because Sparknotes doesn’t have anything other than Margaret Atwood.

23) The book is ALWAYS better than the movie.

24) Drinking tea and reading a book in your comfy nook is considered time well spent.

25) When you heard the Undergraduate English Students’ Association was hosting their second annual Yule Ball on February 1st, 2014, you solemnly swore you were attending no matter what.