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Why you should transcend Border Services and ask your log distance lover to be your valentine, and ways to generally keep LDRs alive.
I am currently in a long distance relationship (LDR) and my counterpart is 7 hours away by plane, nearly impossible to reach by train, and 21 hours away if using an automobile. Not bad by any stretch, considering North American’s are falling for Australians but not the best if you are a closet-romantic like myself and a large portion of coupled-up people. Where would that leave those in similar LDR’s on Valentine’s Day?
Already a controversial day (its just a capitalist cash cow for card companies, and I don’t need one specific day to tell you I love you), not to mention the absurd costs of chocolate and flowers, it’s hard to justify driving 4+ hours in winter with a midterm on the way to see your significant other. Understandably, while some LDR couples opt out of celebrating the revered V-Day out of circumstance, others still want to hold onto the traditions of honoring it.
Pros and Cons of Long Distance Valentines
Generally, pros in favour of celebrating Valentines day are numerous, the most obvious of which include getting to show someone you love or care for how much you appreciate and cherish them, even if they are miles away from you. Holding onto Valentine’s day normally observed by same-city couples helps keep some semblance of tradition and norms alive in an increasingly common situation of LDR.
Cons toward this route involve adding pressure to an already strained situation. Questions arise along the lines of “how on earth does this work?”, “do I gift?” and “what are the rules?” and “how do I ship this?”. Asking myself the very same questions and consulting others, the path of least resistance points to the fact that there are no rules except to define limits, keeping it simple and figuring out why I wanted to do this.
Being in an LDR is a tough thing, no matter how far the person is (hours or days of travelling). Naturally, putting yourself in this kind of arrangement shows how far you are willing to go for your significant other. Birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions become a negotiated affair (who goes where and when), sacrifices are made (missing the actual birthday) but everyone can agree it is definitely worth it.
With Valentine’s Day so near, should February 14 be another special occasion to be put off “until next time”?. Never one to really celebrate it romantically (sure, there are cheesy valentines for my buddies), I wondered if I simply felt pressured to partake and mope that my ball and chain wasn’t around for V-Day.
Make them feel special
I asked a male friend what boys expect from girls on Valentine’s day and his response was touching, and made me realize that I should definitely do this more often. He noted that guys don’t really expect much, February 14 is really for the girls, but they just want to know that they were worth the time and effort. It could be something small, or big, but anything that shows you care.
Being in an LDR is hard enough without the physical connection (be it a hug or a kiss) to make you feel better during a hard day or just because. I was so worried and caught up with my own midterm madness and winter blues that I never really stopped and thought about the fellas in relationships (long distance or not). They deserve some love too.
Armed with that knowledge, I got over my romantic hang-ups and realized I didn’t feel pressured. So what if V-Day is another thought out occasion? It doesn’t take the romance out of it, as planning and talking out an event may do so. Instead, discussing plans simply makes it easier to make the other person feel special. The act alone shows that you care enough that you are willing to start early and think of how to make them feel appreciated.
Gifting ideas
It doesn’t have to be a grand affair with the pomp of the classic wine and dine. While love knows no boundaries, Canada Post does. I’ve always been a fan of something as simple as a card, homemade or bought, with maybe a (dirty) joke, and a small package. The key here, as I found out the hard way, is to keep it small and light. As an estimate, a package that is roughly 1lb in weight will ship to the Northern States in 4 business days with tracking, for roughly $20. Adding fun and little things like love notes, small toys, candy, a book or a collection of cheesy things will be sure to put a smile on your cupid’s face.
If you’re in a pinch and don’t have the time to run around town for that perfect man-toy, ship something from an online retailer. Great stores and sites include etsy.com, amazon.ca, or any of their favourite clothing or electronics store. There are also homely standby’s, such as sending them a box of baked goodies. Just make sure to check with Canada Post if the location you are sending it to will allow it.
Not one to stop there, there are plenty of faster and cheaper ways of making yoru man feel like a stud. Make use of the instant and, thankfully, free means of communication. Emails, e-cards, texts, Whatsapp or anything that requires wireless connectivity to the world of the internet is a great and instant way of letting someone know you care. And thank goodness for Skype! Setting up frequent Skype dates and having a coffee or a brew, spending some QT with your cutie keeps everyone happy.
As for me? I took a cue from my buddy and sent a box full of goodies to make my LDV feel extra special that day. And while the box is good for February 14, I’ll be sure to send the occasional note, card, email or e-card every so often to remind him how I much I care. Who knows? Maybe another package. After finishing up my parcel, going through the paperwork to send it to the US, and handing it over the post office worker, he smiled at me as I was leaving and said, “see you soon”. I returned his smile and replied, “yes, definitely”.
Check out these sites to get you inspired:
http://www.canadapost.ca/cpoto… (tracking and rate estimators)
Picture Credits
www.writeinmotion.blogspot.com
www.variousalternatives.blogsp…