I have always grown up with cats. My family always had two at a time, each full of their own set of quirks, personalities, and attitudes. Cats often do not get the same rep as dogs. They’re seen as mean, unfriendly and cold; yet I would argue they’re the exact opposite. I find cats to be some of the most loving creatures—that is, if you respect them. Cats aren’t like dogs. They won’t always willingly choose to come to cuddle next to you; sometimes they’ll actually run away from you when you try to get close to them. Cats can bite and scratch if you do something to them that they don’t like, and they may even hiss. Forging a bond with a cat takes time and patience and requires you to put effort into working towards gaining their trust.
I have always lived by the idea that if someone can’t get along with cats or can’t respect cats, they can’t be trusted! Despite being biased, I can say that in my life, the people with whom I have healthy relationships all love and cherish cats. I find that, most of the time, if a person can respect a cat’s boundaries and be patient with them, they will be this way in their relationships with other people. I thought it was interesting to think how our relationships with our animals can influence our behavioural patterns with others and wanted to just look at some of the ways cats have come to affect our lives.
First of all, cats need their space. Cats spend more than half of the day sleeping, so half of the time they’re busy tending to their own needs. When they do come out of their naps, cats can be sometimes energetic or mellow. You can try and pick up your cat or try to play with them, but if they’re not in the mood, they’ll show you or they’ll leave. Cats show us that there’s no point in forcing interactions to happen and that you need to respect others’ boundaries regardless of when they come up or what they are.
Secondly, when cats show affection, they do so on their grounds. Cats can sometimes be incredibly affectionate and may come up to you to show you their love. They can purr, ask to be pet, or simply sit on your lap. Whatever the situation is, you need to always act in a delicate and careful manner when touching a cat. Cats are very suspicious creatures, and for good reason. To protect themselves, they edge on being cautious most of the time. So when petting a cat, you need to be the same. You have to be careful where you pet your cat and be careful not to push it too far. Cats will tell you when they don’t like something—they’re amazing communicators. But it’s up to us to listen and change our behaviour in accordance with their comments. If a cat meows you when you pet its tail and moves away, that means they’ve communicated that they don’t like that part of them being touched and it’s up to you to respect them.
I find a lot of people will pester cats and aggressively touch areas that are more sensitive— like their stomachs or tails—and then be appalled when a cat finally ends up scratching them. A cat will lash out when its boundaries have been pushed too far, too many times. It’s up to you to pay attention to what they’re trying to communicate to you and to respect them if you wish to connect with them. Thus, cats teach us how to listen to and respect them.
Lastly, to maintain a bond with a cat, you have to be persistent. You have to regularly dedicate time to spend with them. Oftentimes, once you stop interacting with a cat, they too will draw back over time. Therefore, cats show us the importance of showing up in relationships and how consistently showing up for another is the key to a healthy relationship.
Cats are lovely creatures and the exact opposite of their stereotypes. With time, you can often forge extremely strong and deep connections with cats, but that is dependent on how you treat them. Cats, just like humans, have boundaries and need those to be recognized and respected. Through engaging with cats, they teach us more about how to treat other people and how to maintain healthy relationships with the ones we love.