Is there ever a perfect time to talk to your significant other about getting tested? It is perfectly understandable that some people are just not that comfortable with talking to their boyfriends or girlfriends about getting tested. Possibly you may think that the utter of the word gonorrhea is an instant buzz-kill and turn-off. Or maybe you are nervous about asking a partner to get tested because it could raise some trust-issues between the two of you, or could lead to an argument. But if there was a time to adopt a confident persona and tell your boo exactly how you feel, the time is now. So you and I, right here, right now are going to have “the Talk.”
Sex is natural part of life and it is important for us to protect ourselves and our partners when we are sexually active. Getting tested will protect the both of you from STIs, it will allow you to grow together, and it could make you feel closer to your partner as you learn about them and their past.
To create the setting, let’s pretend you had a romantic dinner at “The Works” with your special someone and you are both thinking about getting frisky. Maybe it’s awkward to ask him or her to go on a casual visit to the clinic while you both are eating your turkey burgers. Pick a good time and place to talk. Do not save the conversation until you are about to get intimate; keeping the clothes on could make it just a tad bit more comfortable.
The conversation does not have to be awkward or emotional; the outcome depends on your interaction with your partner. If that person is respectful, they will respect your wishes, if they are a good listener, they will listen. It is also likely that knowing some factual pieces of information about STIs and HIVAIDS could assist you in the conversation and make it easier to talk about getting tested and would better convince the person that staying sexually healthy is a necessity for both of you. That brings up another point; getting tested together also removes some of the hostility towards the whole idea. It shows that you are not only worried about the safety of yourself but also the safety of your partner too. Remember asking your partner to get tested when you have not yourself done so does not come across that nicely as well.
Observe how the conversation is flowing. If your partner is getting tense over the subject matter keep calm and stand your ground. Refrain from being accusatory or defensive and stress that getting tested is about mutual safety. Ensure your partner that the testing is usually free, it is not painstaking, and that clinics are abundant.
There are really no disadvantages about starting the conversation about getting tested with your significant other. If your relationship suffers from this, then there are other underlining issues that should be addressed. At the end of the day, this is a time to be selfish and really think about the consequences of catching an STI, which can also be transferred even when using protection, like condoms. It may be an uncomfortable conversation but it is better than finding out you contracted a STI from your partner, or that you gave it to them. If this person is who you chose to be intimate with, then having this discussion should be expected and should not be awkward at all. In fact, this conversation could come up multiple times in one relationship. It’s natural to ask your significant other to get tested in a new relationship but also if someone has cheated, or in the future when both of you are thinking about pregnancy. Personally, I have found that being completely open and honest with how you feel about any topic when you are in a relationship with someone works the best, especially in the long-run.
SOURCES
http://www.itsyoursexlife.com/…
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sex…
http://isabellasnow.hubpages.c…
Pictures
http://weheartit.com/entry/12473195
http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/tips/relationship-tips-pictures1.htm
http://www.examiner.com/article/healthy-relationships-101-let-s-talk-about-sex
http://www.mamiverse.com/talk-…