This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Ottawa chapter.
Ah, dating apps. We hate them, we love them… but mostly we hate them. Still, we keep using them because what else are we going to do? You can put on a cute outfit to go to the park in hopes of a meet cute all you want; the effectiveness of this plight remains low. The number of people on the Hinge, Tinder, Bumble trifecta alone is enough that eventually you’ll match with someone of quality, who brings you joy and whatever else you’re looking for. In the meantime, here are some of the red, yellow, and green flags I personally use to determine said quality.
Red Lights
- Actual incompatibilities. Your date not drinking may seem like no big deal until you order a cab sauv with dinner and get glared at. And if your Twitter bio is abolish the police, perhaps an officer of the law is a swipe left.
- Variations of “looking for someone who can take a joke.” This person is likely mean, and is definitely bad at telling jokes.
- Any of the “isms” or “phobias” (sexism, racism, homophobia, fatphobia, etc.). Hints of these are usually subtle, and such bios may include “not into girls with drama” or “looking for someone who I can say what I want around.” Why can’t you say what you want, Jeff? Is it because it’s actually deeply fatphobic?
- Saying they’re apolitical. While you and your match don’t necessarily need to share all the same beliefs, someone claiming they’re apolitical in 2022 demonstrates a level of privilege and ignorance that is simply not it.
- Having no bio or not answering any prompts. Included in this is “just ask” and “hmu if you want to know.” This lack of effort is likely to extend to other areas of life.
- “Here for a good time, not a long time.” Please no.
- Dead. Animal. Pictures. (Enough said).
Yellow Lights
- Centring your personality on something non-specific to you. Everybody likes The Office, and I don’t care if you like pineapple on pizza or not. I’m begging for some originality.
- Answering a prompt the same way everyone else does. Being this generic either means you’re boring or you don’t care. Either way, it’s not giving great vibes.
- Saying “I’m overly competitive about everything,” reads more insecure than you think.
- Sympathy for Jake Gyllenhaal as a ‘post-Taylor’s version of Red’ way to bait Swifties. Which, as a Swiftie, I find annoying. But also it has worked on me twice.
- The “guess my ethnicity” prompt. This just feels like a weird invitation to be ignorant and likely a little bit racist.
- Similar to above, if you want to know someone’s ethnicity, you can just ask instead of playing the “where are you from” game and refusing to accept Canada as an answer for POC.
- This may not apply to people who are born after 2000, but no, I do not want to add you on snap.
Green Lights
- Taking initiative, messaging the people you match with, being consistent, and asking them out (after a lil bit of conversation, and assuming you like them). Also a bonus if you can come up with something to say other than ‘hey wyd.’
- Messaging on dating apps can be time consuming and somewhat painful. Being able to carry on a conversation and asking meaningful and specific questions can go a long way.
- While friend pictures can be tricky (i.e only posting friend pics making you un-identifiable, or if all your friends look like Jacob Elordi), a solid friend pic where you look like you’re having fun can boost the appeal.
- Similarly, pictures with your family can show you can maintain healthy relationships and value connection. Yes to pics with cute kids or grandparents. No to pics with hot siblings.
- Listing love languages or what you think you bring to the table shows the self-esteem and self-reflection we are here for. A simple “I enjoy quality time and like to cook,” for example.
- Mentioning specific interests that are good convo starters: your favourite books, desert island movies, a fun hobby, etc. A picture of said hobby is also a great add-on for your profile.
- Lastly, this is not helpful advice, but just like be funny.
Get ready, get set, date. Or go to the park. xxx