This is Part 3 of a 3-part series. Read Reconnecting Love and Sex in 2015: Part 1 and Reconnecting Love and Sex in 2015: Part 2
Once you hear about non-monogamy, it’s like you can’t stop. If you’re really up with the times, you will have heard (or even read) of Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacila Jetha, which suggests that monogamy is not natural to human beings and that our conformity to this ideal is the cause of many of our relationship problems. Or even The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, literature that acts as a “how-to guide” to polyamory and open relationships.
The concept of polyamory is often described as “free love”. Up until recently it has often been marginalized as something for hippies and the irresponsible. Well, to break it to you straight, polyamory is taking the dating world by storm. (Read Polyamory to find out more about it!)
Open relationships are becoming more and more popular in 2015. Could this be the effect of the ever increasing secularization of society, increasing gender equality, and acceptance of diverse sexualities?
With so many people that “cheat” on their significant others, or couples that break up because there is no passion or novelty in the relationship anymore: could polyamory be a way to solve these problems?
When we break up, it’s so hard to let go of the love we once had. But what if we don’t need to let go of that love? Instead, why not shape the expectations of our partners differently, or move our love around and understand how dynamic it can be?
In Sex at Dawn, the author goes on to point out that for some reason, we accept divorce. That breaking up a marriage, often a family, for the reason that you want to have sex and relationships with other people, is acceptable. And yet the idea of people doing that within a marriage, while maintaining a stable foundation of love and support in a family setting, is unheard of. Is it cheating if your husband or wife knows about it and is openly doing the same themselves? Could we adapt to these new notions with time? It’s in our human nature after all: the most primitive societies operated on free love. Hedonism seems to work with capitalism, which we don’t seem to be escaping anytime soon.Why not embrace pleasure and have more sex?
Where to go from here
Polyamory has been described as “SO MESSY”, and this is true. Polyamory is messy, but so is any kind of love. Idealistic as it sounds, the rise of polyamory reflects the power of trust, love and communication as tools against this messiness. We just need to get off our virtual porn and smartphones and talk about our genuine feelings with those in front of us. Then we can start to explore different opportunities that romance has to offer in 2015.
Like what you read? Read Part 1 and Part 2 of the series!
Sources:
1. Sex at Dawn: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7640261-sex-at-dawn
2. The Ethical Slut: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4469773-the-ethical-slut
Images:
Non-monogamy: https://faustusnotes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/nonmonogamy2-5-1.gif