Everyone expresses how they feel in different ways! Think about the people in your life that you care about. You might not say “I LOVE YOU” all of the time…or ever.
Dr. Gary Chapman has been a marriage counselor for over 45 years and has created what is now known as the five categories of “Love Languages”. There’s a test you can take that helps identify how you feel loved. This test is great because it doesn’t just have to be for people who are in serious relationships. The test comes in different formats for single people and couples!
1. Words of Affirmation
If this is your number one love language, then you probably love hearing people complement or validate your work! Long text messages from someone expressing their love for you will probably make you a little giddy and will definitely result in a screenshot. You will typically appreciate others using phrases like “I’m very proud of you” or even the classic “I love you”.
2. Acts of Service
If acts of service is your love language, then you’ll be over the moon when someone goes out of their way to help you somehow, even if it might be slightly inconvenient for the other person. This could be your significant other getting you a hot water bottle when your back is sore or your mom editing a paper for you even though it’s midnight and your paper is due at 8:30am. This doesn’t mean you are lazy and rely on everyone else doing your work for you but you really appreciate those people who help you out when you’re in a jam.
3. Receiving Gifts
Did you happen to mention how much you loved that sweater the mannequin was wearing last week only to find your partner had picked it up for you on their way home? Were you touched that your friends spent months agonizing over what to get you because they wanted to make sure the gift was perfect? Receiving gifts might just be your love language! You appreciate a well thought out gift that has special meaning to you or the giver.
4. Quality Time
Collegiette lives are very busy, there is no denying that. Between school, extracurricular activities, work, homework and sleep, it can be hard to find time to see the people you love. If your love language is quality time, you’ll be happy to spend time with your loved one any opportunity you have. This could mean eating lunch together between classes, visiting your parents the occasional weekend or going on an adventure. Spending uninterrupted time with someone helps you recharge and strengthens your relationships.
5. Physical Touch
Holding hands? Snuggling on the couch? A long hug? If physical touch is your love language, you are probably a more hands on person. (Remember to always ask for someone’s consent before touching them though!) You don’t necessarily need to be chatting but as long as there is contact, you are content. Being physical does not equal being sexual but if that’s part of your love language, all the power to ya!
Hopefully you learned something from this article! Taking the love languages test can be super helpful for you, your friends, family, anyone really! Be conscious of others love languages and get to know how you can make someone feel cared for anytime!
Picture Sources:
Cover Picture, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Information Sources
The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman