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Not So Hopeless After All

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Ottawa chapter.

Remember when The Notebook came out and we all wished that Noah would scale a ferris wheel and ask us out? Well if you ever wished your love life was something straight out of your favourite rom-com Sarah Vannier, Ph.D., and postdoctoral fellow at Dalhousie University and her colleagues have some good news for you. The first to study to whether there is a link between being a hopeless romantic and relationship satisfaction. Vannier says “There’s a concern that these beliefs [soul mates, love at first site] might be getting us up for disaster by giving us unrealistic expectations.”

“Basically, if you are expecting Prince Charming, you are going to be disappointed when you meet a guy who doesn’t own a castle, even if he is great in every other way” Vannier comments. In a forthcoming study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vannier and her colleague surveyed young adults ages 18 to 28 and who were currently dating. They looked at their romantic beliefs, expectations and their satisfaction and commitment in their current relationship. Vannier found that people who endorsed stronger romantic beliefs reported greater feelings of satisfaction and commitment with their relationship. Vannier explains, “People with romantic beliefs did have higher expectations, but they were also more likely to see their partner as meeting those expectations”

Vannier’s research also found the endorsement of romantic beliefs was not linked to unmet expectations. In other words, romantic beliefs do not appear to foster false or unattainable expectations for romantic relationships. Interestingly enough individual differences like age, gender and relationship experience did not predict any romantic beliefs or expectations. “We often think women are more romantic than men, but past research has usually found the opposite” Vannier explains.

Who else is looking for their copy of The Notebook?


Sources: Cover, 1, 2, & 3

Daughter, sister, student, friend. I have a fond love for good board games, napping and tea. I consider myself to be a professional apple cutter.