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Hey Holly: Is My Relationship Doomed?

I got into a friends with benefits situation with this guy who’s only staying here for a year (which is why I decided to do friends with benefits). However, we are becoming pretty lovey dovey as a couple. We hold hands and kiss in public, go on dates, even travel together. We haven’t had the ‘official’ conversation yet, but I think because he’s older, he doesn’t need to go through with the baby steps.

I don’t know if I should move further into this relationship knowing that it’s going to end. Even thinking about it kinda hurts. What should I do?

-The Girl

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Dear “The Girl,”

I don’t think that you should beat yourself up over creating a relationship (of any kind for that matter). You did nothing wrong by meeting someone new, even if it was initially for friends with benefits! That being said, things in this scenario have clearly progressed passed the point of just thinking of each other as friends. The best way to talk about this is to fully lay out everything on the table with your feelings. If he’s only here for a year, and assuming he’s not coming back for a while, I think you should probably listen to what your gut tells you to do.

If you feel like it’s truly going to end and you are not quite sure if you want to go through with the best-case scenario of a long-distance relationship, I think your best bet would be to put your foot down for what you think is right! Every end to a relationship hurts, be it a childhood friend, someone who moved away, or a partner you had romantic feelings for. However, whenever there is any doubt or negativity shrouding a relationship before it even begins, it usually holds an unwelcoming fate for the people involved. Go with your gut and your future self will definitely look back and realize that you made the best decision possible. Best of luck to you!

XO,

Holly

Need advice, but don’t know who to ask? Submit your love/relationship/student life questions to Her Campus U Ottawa’s advice columnist Holly! Submit your question here: Hey Holly Question Form

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