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Hey Holly: Confused by a Player!

Hey Holly,

I really like this guy and he is a player. He plays all the girls and everyone likes him and I feel like he likes me. Is there a way to find out if he really likes me? 

-Confused by a player

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Dear Confused by a Player,

Finding out if someone likes you isn’t always as easy as a magazine article or a YouTube advice video can make it seem. Does this guy treat you differently than every other girl, or are you blind by your personal bias because you’re interested in him? Is he smiling at you or is he just being friendly? Is that girl in his Instagram his future girlfriend or his sister? Was that another one of his sisters in his Snapchat story? How many sisters does he have? Maybe it’s a cousin? It’s hard to really find out if someone likes you when there are so many questions and variables that you’re going over in your head. You talk yourself into the idea that he likes you and then the next day he may not text you and you promptly talk yourself out of the idea, again.

If the guy you’re interested in “plays” all the girls, you should ask yourself: “Is he going to play me, too?” Guys who flirt with a lot of girls require a lot of attention and will constantly seek out any girl to fulfill that need. I won’t be a hypocrite and tell you that you shouldn’t like this guy because I’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and sweatshirt and the keychain and the mug and the shatterproof travel mug… holla at yo’ girl Holly, cause I get it. Liking a guy that everyone likes is so alluring and exciting because when he gives only you attention you feel remarkably special, and you convince yourself that the way he talks to you is indescribably different than everyone else.

In my personal experience a guy who likes a girl and wants to do something about it, will do just that. The guy will make himself known to you and it will be all too obvious that he’s interested, especially the type of outgoing likable guy that you’ve described! If this guy doesn’t go out of his way to show you that he likes you, he may not be keen on flirting with only one girl.

I know you’re going to hate this advice (because I hated it when I only had eyes for players and needed help), but the only way to find out if he really likes you is to ask him. Don’t let him beat around the bush and flirt his way out of it, explain that you’re unsure if he likes you and only you, or if he is just being friendly. Whatever the result, it’s always up to you, if you’d really like to pursue this guy and are willing to take the risk then go get ‘em tiger, just be weary of how the player may play his game.

XO,

Holly

Need advice, but don’t know who to ask? Submit your love/relationship/student life questions to Her Campus uOttawa’s advice columnist Holly! Submit your question here: Hey Holly Question Form

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