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The Dos and Don’ts of Valentine’s Day for New Couples

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Ottawa chapter.

So you just started dating your new partner and you really like them. Things are new, fresh, exciting and all that great stuff about new couples. But maybe you don’t quite love them yet, maybe you haven’t had sex yet, and maybe you’re just super awkward about the whole thing. To help you out, here are my dos and don’ts of Valentine’s Day for the new couple.

  • Don’t go to a fancy restaurant.
    Do you know who goes to fancy restaurants on Valentine’s Day? Couples who are about to get married, couples who are so in love that they don’t mind spending $100+ on a meal with someone. You aren’t that type of couple. Going here will only make things awkward, not to mention expensive
  • Do go out to a casual restaurant.
    Go somewhere that says “I like you” not “let’s get married” or “I don’t want to be here”. Staying in can be an option to, but make it a casual night as well. Have fun with it.
  • Don’t be boring.
    By doing something you always engage in, you aren’t paying proper respects to the Holiday. You are also causing both of you to be looking for something more.
  • Do something adventurous, whatever that means to you.
    Discover together, learn something new, or take a cooking class. By getting your fix of adrenaline out of the date itself, you’re leaving less pressure on yourself.
  • Don’t drop the L-bomb because you feel like you have to.
    Especially if it’s really early you can put someone in a strange place. Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, so if you feel it let them know. However, don’t just say it because you feel obligated to.
  • Do tell them how you’re feeling.
    Just because you don’t feel ready doesn’t mean you can’t tell them how you’re feeling on the inside. Communication is really important in every relationship. Valentine’s Day is no exception to this. Use phrases like “I’ve really been liking how this relationship has been going” “I like spending my time with you”. Things that tell them you’re enjoying yourself, them and the time you spend together.
  • Don’t feel obligated to have sex with them.
    Similarly to dropping the L-bomb, there can be a lot of pressure to be intimate on Valentine’s Day. But if you’re not ready then you’re not ready. It may seem pretty straight forward for many, but it can be surprising how many people feel this way.
  • Do communicate about intimacy.
    Communication is huge. You need to tell them that you don’t want to become intimate quite yet and how you feel about it. If you leave them with no information about what’s going on, it will only pile up into the future.
  • Don’t freak out over what you are going to do.
    You are both still figuring this whole thing out, so you are both probably feeling the same way.
  • Do have fun with it.
    Enjoy each other’s presence and see where things go. Use this time to learn more about each other and the relationship. 
  • Don’t take everything I say word for word.
    Maybe you’re a new couple but you’ve been secretly in love with each other forever. Or maybe you’re an old awkward couple. The advice varies from couple to couple so don’t sweat it too much.
  • Do what you want at your own pace, not because some writer on the internet told you so. 


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Hello and Welcome to my profile! I am a second year Psychology student at uOttawa as well as a first year writer for the HCuOttawa chapter.