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The DO NOTs of Trying to Pick-up Girls in Bars

I go out a lot. Naturally, being a 20something girl in a bar leads me to many interactions with boys that are downright laughable. I’ve never once been impressed by a boy who I met in a bar, and I can’t be the only one, so boys, here are some mistakes that I see you make time and time again:

DO NOT open the conversation with “Let me buy you a drink”. Sure, I may take the drink, but spending $5.50 on getting me drunk enough to put up with your mundane excuses for pickup lines isn’t as great a plan as you think it is.

DO NOT tell me that you are talking to me on a “dare”. Really? That’s the best you could come up with? What this tells me is that you are a 7th grade boy who lets his rowdy group of friends dictate his love life, and shockingly that’s not hot. Either that, or I assume you’re lying, and you aren’t interesting enough to come up with any better conversation starters.

DO NOT insult me. We all know that this is a tactic. Guy attempts to lower your self-esteem and then builds it back up again, ultimately making the girl grateful to him. Just because this works in ’90s rom-coms, does not mean that it will work on me. If you come up to me, and spend our entire conversation being blatantly mean, I’m just going to walk away. There’s a difference between playful teasing, and trying to hurt someone’s feelings, and you aren’t going to get away with being a jerk to me by saying “aww I’m just teasing”. No. Leave. Be gone.

DO NOT attempt to circulate through a group of female friends. You MAY get attention of the first girl, but as soon as you start moving down the line, this is a guaranteed piss-off. You can’t just swap us out like Barbie dolls. Have some class, and at least go hit on that girl on the other side of the room.

DO NOT touch me without asking. Seriously. Just because I’m in a bar does not mean that you can walk up to me out of nowhere and touch me. You will be blacklisted in my mind all night because of this, and I’m certain most girls would agree. If you haven’t exchanged words with this girl, it’s safe to say, you probably shouldn’t touch her.

DO NOT tell me that I’m “not like the other girls”. Do you realize how sexist that is? What’s wrong with the other girls? Don’t expect me to take it as a compliment when you insult my entire gender in an attempt to flatter me. It’s not cute, and I’m not impressed. Also, I bet you’ve used that line on enough girls to fill this entire bar.

DO NOT pressure the girl to do anything she is not comfortable with. I occasionally will agree to give a boy my number, and after telling him that I’m not looking for anything else to happen between us at this bar, he will almost always try to convince me that I want to dance with him or go home with him or whatnot. What did I just say? No. Now if you hadn’t been such an impatient prick maybe I actually would’ve responded to those texts the next day.

DO NOT begin your texting conversation the next morning with “how’s the hangover?” Without fail anytime I’ve given my number out after drinking, the guy thinks that that’s the most creative way to text me the next day. I’m sick of reading that text. I honestly just won’t even respond anymore. Maybe I’m picky, I don’t know. Just think of something else.

Don’t make these mistakes. Be polite and respectful. Be interesting. And maybe girls will start giving you the time of day in bars. 

Editor’s Note: The opinions stated by the author in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Her Campus uOttawa.


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