The 87th Academy Awards is an annual celebration of films, recognizing actors, writers, directors and the like. But really, the Oscars is a bright and glittery test of your attention span and shows you how many movies you actually haven’t seen while making you wonder why you’re not walking the red carpet alongside an attractive man in Tom Ford. Every year, celebrities dress to impress and, while some are successful, others receive an “E” for effort. This year was no exception.
Reese Witherspoon didn’t disappoint with her black and white gown by Tom Ford. The killer silhouette makes up for the simplicity of the colour scheme. You can never go wrong with a simple black and white frock and Reese proves this theory right. The simple silver bracelet and earrings balance the look.
It went downhill from here.
Gone Girl’s Rosamund Pike takes Valeintine’s Day celebrations to the extreme by showing up in a bouquet of red roses. Don’t worry if you had difficulty telling the difference between the carpet and the dress-I did too. The front slit is classy, showing just enough leg to leave something to the imagination. But, if you’ve seen Gone Girl, you’ve seen most of it anyway.
Kiera Knightly looks like the Garden of Eden in this dress and I’m half expecting her to need the flowers trimmed by the end of the night. The beige colour doesn’t really pop against her skin. All in all, leave the nature to the outdoors.
Willow Bay, an accomplished editor, author and former model, shows up to the Oscars ready to train the Jedi wearing a dress with Yoda’s face splashed across the skirt. I really have no comments other than “WHAT?”. She tops off her wearable fandom with a shirt that seems to be having an identity crisis. The silver ball bearings are interrupted by the beauty pageant-like sash with asymmetrical ruffled satin, and a long mesh sleeve that could probably double as a scarf. Yoda would say ,“your dress, I would not wear”.
Mother of Pearl. Cheesy I know, but completely necessary. Lupita Nyong’o usually makes fantastic fashion choices but this is not one of them. Lupita is literally wearing my entire 4 years of tuition and living expenses in the form of 6000 Akoya pearls. The Calvin Klein original carries faint memories of the Little Mermaid with the seashell inspired top. Frankly, I think she should surface from under the sea.
Only 1 question comes to my mind when I see Rita Ora’s dress: where is the rest of it? The fishnet frock is better suited for the maritime fishing expeditions than the red carpet. This dress reminds me of a very poorly executed yin and yang sign, but the only opposing forces seen here are nudity and any remote possibility of looking modest.
Gigi Hadid is relatively new on the modeling front, making a splash walking for names likes Chanel and becoming the new face of Maybelline cosmetics. The dress she’s wearing definitely shows off her amazing figure and, while there is no way I’ll ever be able to spend enough time at Minto to look like that, the dark colour and the strategically placed cutouts don’t really do anything for me. It’s daring and the lack of undergarments is questionable, but other than that, this is a slightly classier version of Rita Ora’s dress.
Remember how excited you were to graduate grade eight? The exciting new world of high school was one summer away and you were going to leave elementary school behind with a bang! Fast forward to looking back at those pictures and cringing at your dress. Anna Kendrick embodies these feelings with her peach number. It feels a little too “prom” and all that’s missing is the matching pink corsage and an awkward date.
Scarlett Johansen is the newest member of the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles in this dress. I’m staring at the photo just waiting for her head to disappear into that large shell choker neckpiece. Needless to say this was not the best fashion decision, and no one is feeling particularly “green with envy” towards this one.
Meryl Streep can do no wrong. It doesn’t matter what movie she’s in or what she wears. So, when she shows up to the Oscars looking a little less than formal, what can you do? It’s the 87th Academy Awards! She’s been to/won so many of these things that she ran out of dresses long ago.
Last but not least…
Lady Gaga. I have to give her some credit-she’s made incredibly absurd fashion choices. I think it’s safe to say we all recall the “meat dress”. After she stepped onto the scene as a fashion force to be reckoned with, every music artist was feeling the pressure as they tried to one-up each other. Lady Gaga always creamed the competition but she’s toned herself down. However, she still manages to catch our eye with the red gloves. Their rubber appearance begs the question “what was she cleaning before she came to the Oscars?” Dishes? Her bathroom? I think it’s time for the gloves to come off- and stay off.