I must say I am not an expert when it comes to dating. I hear my friends talk about their many lovely dates or their terrible nights, while I watch dating shows like “The Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo, or read romantic novels written by Nicholas Sparks. So, whether you’re an expert or not, like myself, there are a few rules that every girl should know before getting glammed up for a soirée with her crush. Here are twelve things you should never do, or at least try to avoid on your first date:
1. Don’t go to his place; Go public
It’s the most obvious rule that every girl knows, but doesn’t always follow. You shouldn’t go to his place on the first date even if he is sweet. Deep down inside you know he only has one thing in mind and it’s doesn’t involve you talking about hobbies or your love for pets. He might turn out to be a complete weirdo, so it’s better to be safe. As the true gentleman that he is, he should be open to seeing a movie or having dinner in a public place.
2. Don’t talk about religion, politics or sex
I don’t know what your parents taught you, but my momma always told me never to mention religion or politics around a dinner table. Also, you don’t know the guy at all to have such a profound conversation with him. Talk about things that will allow you to get to know him better as a person. On top of that, don’t mention sex. You want to build your relationship on something real, and sex isn’t the best way to start.
3. Don’t doubt yourself in his presence
If there is one thing that guys like, it is confidence. If you have self-esteem problems, for the purpose of this date, don’t show it to him…yet. He’s going to learn about them one day, but it’s not that important for the first date. Most importantly, be yourself and don’t be shy. He’s out with you, so it means that he is interested… keep that interest alive.
4. Don’t share your emotions…yet
You may believe in love at first sight, or you may be a hopeless romantic, you may even start getting butterflies in your stomach when he looks at you. That is totally fine; however, don’t let your emotions for him show. Why not? It way too early for that. Play it cool.
5. Don’t talk marriage or babies
If you want to make him run, mentioning marriage or babies is a surefire way to do so. Some guys don’t believe in marriage, and some don’t even want children! Why would you even bring those two things up? You are not even in a relationship with the guy so take your time…if you don’t want to end up alone.
6. Don’t talk too much about yourself
You hate when people think they are the center of the universe, so don’t be a hypocrite and don’t do the same thing. The date is made for two people… make it a dialogue, not a monologue!
7. Don’t bring a friend
I know sometimes you get nervous or scared since you don’t know the person you are going on a date with very well. However, it’s not the solution to bring your friend. If you don’t feel comfortable, you can always propose a group activity with other friends before going one-on-one. If you do choose to go solo, but you are a bit “scared”, then buy some pepper spray!
8. Don’t use your cell phone
You may be a “cell phone addict”, but don’t take out your cell out of your purse during the date. You don’t need to text your BFF to give her minute-by-minute updates on your date. The guy will either think he is boring you or that you can’t live without your cell. You don’t want him thinking either of those.
9. Don’t talk about your exes
Mentioning your exes is like telling the guy that you are not over your ex or that you are comparing him to them. Each scenario isn’t a good one. Exes are meant to stay in the past. Focus on the present while equally focusing on the person sitting in front of you.
10. Don’t underdress or overdress
You don’t want to look like you are going to the Oscars with Leo DiCaprio (unfortunately) or that you are about to shoot a nude video, or going to get milk at the grocery store. Look like your normal self, but with a little extra. The idea is not to over think your outfit.
11. Don’t drink too much or use any substances
Do I really need to elaborate on this point?
12. Don’t give him the cookie
You know exactly what I mean. If you give him the one thing he’s been thinking about since the beginning of the night, you will never hear from him again. How come? You just turned a potential relationship into a hookup.
Hope these tips will be help you score a second date, but in the meantime have a wonderful first date!