You might be familiar with the rule that you can’t run the dishwasher twice.
Recently, I came across an interesting post on social media where someone said that their life changed when they began to ignore this rule. If you are wondering what could be life-changing about a dishwasher — so was I.
The post’s author opened up about her depression, sharing that she could not muster enough energy to hand-wash her dishes before loading the washer. She felt debilitated by this. Her therapist suggested a simple solution: run the dishwasher twice.
For people suffering from depression, lack of energy is one of the most common and most debilitating symptoms. People with severe depression can struggle to move, speak, put on clothes, or even hand-wash their dishes. I am no stranger to these moments, I have fought my depression since I was a teenager.
The most important thing I’ve learned about mental illness is the importance of seeking to reclaim control in moments where doing so feels impossible. It is the ultimate struggle.
There have been times in my life when I have been so sure I cannot or should not do something because it is “bad” for me, especially in times when I have been depressed. Listening to sad music, laying in bed, scrolling on my phone, running the dishwasher twice — I have fought all these urges in the name of well-being, but I’ve ironically employed these rules when already feeling unwell in the first place.
We often have the luxury of following our own arbitrary rules as second nature, forgetting that each little law we enforce upon ourselves requires both energy and care.
This is the most crucial distinction between someone who is struggling mentally and someone who is doing just fine. For someone actively struggling, tasks, rules and rituals meant to help maintain wellness often end up having the opposite effect. While we often try to muster the energy to observe our regular routines when struggling with depression, doing so can be an uphill battle, since mental illness is anything but routine. It is quite unruly.
The idea of running the dishwasher twice represents the principle of adjusting our rules and making exceptions to meet our needs. Simplifying these rules — or doing away with them altogether — can be our best friend and greatest tool. Whether it comes in the form of running the dishwasher twice, heating leftovers instead of cooking or even calling our therapist outside of our weekly appointment, any step we can take to prioritize our wellness is beneficial, even if that means not abiding by the rules.
I hope everyone who has struggled in their life can benefit from the dishwasher phenomenon. Anyone with depression, grief, or exhaustion should run their dishwasher twice. We don’t need to prove we have a full tank every day to show up for ourselves. Everyone I know and love — including you — deserves to acknowledge the deep bravery and hard work that is maintaining wellness. And, that, my friends, is why we should all run our dishwashers as many damn times as we please.