Not everyone will tell you this, but the first month of freshman year can actually be kind of hard. It’s a whirlwind of new friends, new experiences, and crazy new levels of independence. I had a great time freshman year, but now I’m a junior, and I think that affords me some level of wisdom. Here are a few things I wish I could tell my freshman self, two years later.
Don’t be afraid to say no. Whether it’s being put on a listserv for a club you don’t really care about, being asked to step up for a leadership position you can’t fully commit to, or getting a 1:30 AM “yo, can I come over?” text from a guy you don’t really feel like seeing, never, ever feel obligated to do something you don’t enthusiastically want to do. You are in charge of your own time and it’s your choice to do what you want with it.
It’s perfectly acceptable to do things alone. Maybe don’t go out for a candlelit dinner completely solo (or do, whatever), but it’s perfectly fine to sit at a coffee shop, go to a dining hall, or go to the mall alone. Nobody is looking at you and nobody cares. Feeling okay with being by yourself is part of being an adult. On that note…
Take yourself out on a date once in a while. Between a full-time roommate, classes, and your social life, you might not find much time to be alone with yourself. Personally, I suggest somewhere casual yet gourmet where you can read a good book and not run into anyone you know. It’s good for your mental health and you’ll go home feeling confident and refreshed.
You have friends. People like you. Just because it feels like everyone is hanging out without you doesn’t mean they are. Remind yourself of this often.
If you don’t get into something, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you–it’s because it wasn’t MEANT for you. First semester freshman year, I applied to three clubs/activities and got rejected from all three of them in the same day. In retrospect, I found a bunch of things to get involved in that have brought me to my best friends, taught me new skills, and ultimately shaped my college experience for the better. You will find your path, and it will be right — never get discouraged, and never think less of yourself because you didn’t get something you wanted.
Call your mom often. She was your first friend ever, and she is probably obsessed with how you’re doing at college, if you’re making friends, what you had for lunch today, etc. call her and put her mind at ease. Your relationship also might be shifting toward one of friendship, mutual respect, and trust — she might even begin to call you to ask for your adult advice, which is a great feeling.
Call your best friends from home, too. You’re meeting all of these exciting new people at college, but don’t forget about the OG homies who have been by your side since before puberty. Call them when you have 15 minutes free — while you’re doing your makeup in the morning or walking to class. Maintaining long-distance friendships can be hard, but you’ll always regret falling out of touch with people you love.
If you feel depressed, go to the gym. Your body’s chemistry can be tricky, and sometimes it’ll trick you into thinking your life isn’t so awesome. Quick fix: go hit the gym! As a very, very wise law student by the name of Elle Woods once said: “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. And happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.”
Nothing is going to work out the way you thought it would. But that’s okay! Do your best, don’t sweat the slip-ups, and take advantage of every opportunity. You only get to go to college once.