Recently, I wrote a short story about a woman who is suffering from a personality disorder. She tries to control her homicidal thoughts and feel like a “normal” human being in her society. I presented it to one of my English classes for a workshop session and I received harsh backlash. The backlash wasn’t about the writing, it wasn’t about the characters and their development, and it wasn’t about the details within the story. It received backlash because the woman is clearly suffering from a mental illness and that made them uncomfortable. As a writer, I prefer to write about dark and taboo topics like mental illness, murder, and abuse. I do so with the intention to make my readers uncomfortable and this class was very much aware of this. I admit, it was a pretty dark short story and the woman was a very uncomfortable character to write and read about. But that was the entire point of the story and the character. The intent of the story was supposed to be a positive one, but my peers couldn’t see past the uncomfortable environment within the story as a negative.
As a reader, I prefer reading about darker or less talked about subjects. I had recently finished We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver. The book was extremely frightening and had a sense of dread to it. Kevin Katchadourian is a truly disturbed character and his development as a character is insightful and very uncomfortable to read, especially since I had prior knowledge of the book before reading. When I arrived at the part of the book talking about the massacre, I had goosebumps all over and I felt myself go into fight or flight mode. I was filled with dread and horror the whole book to the point I was shaking, and I’m even shaking as I write this. It was a terrible feeling, but it helped me understand massacres better and how the family and friends are affected afterward.
Another book I read that made me uncomfortable is Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe. Besides the theme of slavery in the novel, It wasn’t uncomfortable for me. However, I see how people could be uncomfortable and offended by the book and how it is controversial. Yes, this novel denounced slavery, influenced American Literature, and is a part of the framework that led to the civil war. But at the same time, it pushes stereotypes about African-Americans that follow them into today’s society. As I went through the book, I was disappointed to
see the numerous stereotypes presented and I was even questioning whether I should continue reading. Despite this, I finished the book and it caused me to recognize that even though I was uncomfortable and angry with the portrayal of African-Americans, I can still understand the author’s intention.
The last novel that made me question myself and how I am reading a novel is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. I felt like I was being manipulated throughout this book by the narrator, Humbert Humbert. Well, I was being manipulated. I truly thought this was a love story when that wasn’t it. It is a story filled with molestation and grooming, but it’s written so beautifully that I am pulled away from what’s truly going on and made to believe he was seduced by the twelve-year-old child. I had to read this book several times to convince myself that I am not delusional and that the narrator is truly disturbed and unreliable and is trying to make me, the reader, believe that his actions are justified. This book changed how I read books and made me start reading between the lines and analyze my understanding of the book.
Now, the examples I gave are just a few of the uncomfortable books I have read and these are my experiences with them. It’s hard to read and take in topics that you find uncomfortable and not used to. It is always a good thing when the reader can relate to and understand the character they are reading about. When we are reading, we are trying to find elements that keep us engaged in the story. However, reading about unlikeable characters and topics can help you grow as a person and a reader. Yes, being uncomfortable is a terrible feeling and we usually try to get away from it or reject it altogether. But being uncomfortable teaches us to look at situations then understand and see them from a new or different angle. It leads to growth and understanding within ourselves. Now, I’m not saying you have to go out and read all these uncomfortable books or literature because it isn’t meant for everyone. I am only trying to encourage you to be more open to it and not fully reject it because it makes you uncomfortable or you lack knowledge of the topic. It’s always safe and good to test your limits and expand them.