One night, as I was stretched out on the couch, scrolling through Reels, I came across a video of Olivia Rodrigo that helped me realize something very important–something I’d never given a spare thought to.
In an interview with Drew Barrymore, she said, “All of my female friendships have been so much more fulfilling than any, like, relationship that I’ve ever had. You know, they’re so much more fun, and I’ve learned so much about myself. And I just think that’s just the relationship that should always take priority in your life.”
I immediately sent the Reel to my closest friends, of course, but after I sent it, I thought more about what she said. I always appreciated my friends, but I never realized just how important they are to my life, and how much they’ve taught me about life and myself until recently.
In high school, I had a big group of friends I walked to classes with, ate lunch with, and vented about school with. Sure, we had some deep conversations every now and then, but I always saw other girls at my school with deep, meaningful friendships and wondered why my own seemed shallow in comparison.
In my big friend group, despite always being surrounded by people, I felt lonely. I watched girls in the group get closer, leaving me stranded in the middle, unable to find someone I could completely relate to. I saw smaller group chats form, finding myself reading their inside jokes displayed for everyone in the big group chat and feeling as though I failed some test of whether I was worthy enough to be added. I realized that while they were my best friends, I wasn’t theirs.
Sometime later, at the end of my senior year, after spending months overwhelmed with anxiety and insecurity over the state of my friendships, magically, I found two girls in the friend group who felt the same as me: untethered and lonely, struggling to catch up with the connections that the others were making, falling behind in the group dynamic. With these two girls, I began to develop the deep conversations I’d never had before.
We talked about the pain of losing and outgrowing friendships and what we could learn from to better ourselves and develop higher standards in the future. I learned a million lessons from them, whether they know it or not. They helped me shed the past insecure version of myself, who desperately wanted to make everyone happy at my own expense, and transform into the strong, independent woman I am today. I finally learned what a true, meaningful friendship looks like.
Flashing forward to college, my high school friends and I still communicate every now and then, but rarely, not much more than a monthly checkup or random Reel that reminded us of something about each other. The weirdest thing is that many of these friends are at the same college as me right now, and while we’re still very much friendly with each other when we bump into each other every now and then, we grew apart and into different people.
But those two beautiful, amazing individuals–who became my best friends–are attending college in different states and countries than me now. We are closer than ever, and I’m so thankful for the wonderful lessons they have taught me in my life. Their lessons helped me to find people who hold the same values and weird sense of humor as me and grow closer with people who support and understand me here at Michigan.
Olivia Rodrigo’s statement cemented the knowledge in me that the female friendships in my life right now are more fulfilling than any other relationship I’ve had in my life, platonic or romantic. These women are incredibly understanding, genuine, and strong, inspiring me to be the same. Her statement also inspires me to strive to prioritize these relationships in life right now, because as a freshman in college with still no idea what she wants to do in her life, at least having the knowledge that I have people I can trust in this crazy, new environment is very important.
Female friendships can inspire us to be more driven and true to themselves, as well as help us feel more seen and understood. I’m proud of my friends for being so intelligent and strong, and while it took me a while to make the friends I have right now, I wouldn’t change a thing that happened in the past if it was what brought me to where I am right now.